it's official

come 29th march, i'll be competing in the malaysia millennium 2002 competition.

i have three costumes to choose from. two of them are of the same style; it's a simple dress, one shouldered and short (not that short for me cause i have short legs). one's pink glittered and the other is black with gold glitters. the other costume is a two piece yellow concoction. the top has gold sequins (the top itches) and the skirt is short and tasseled.

of those three, i think i look best in the yellow costume. the other two seems to make me look really big; especially the pink costume plus that shade of pink just doesn't seem to go with my skin colour. my partner loves that costume though. keeps pressing me to wear it for the competition.

haha ... not a chance. not going to listen to his opinion on this matter. his fashion taste is simply ... how should i put this nicely? ... not good. closer to terrible if not horrendous.

it's either the black or the yellow. everyone, except my partner, seems to agree that i should wear the yellow. so, maybe i'll be wearing the yellow.

i've placed a last minute order for a new pair of dancing shoes yesterday. simple design, all gold in a material called 'madonna glitter'. i've also ordered it a half inch higher than my usual practise shoes. i hope that won't affect my dancing too much ... if it does, preferably for the better and not for the worse.

right! so, from now until friday the 29th, must squeeze in as many practises as possible. will be having practise later tonight after choir practise. hope i still have energy after a long day at work and two hours of singing to dance.

nothing much has been going on so no blog ... unless you want the usual boring blogs that i used to write about my everyday life.

anyways, new entry in the auditions page. check it out you wannabe actors.

bad news. mph has switched their wired magazine supplier. no more wired magazine at RM 24.90. they now sell at the same price as all the other newsagents, at RM31.

good news is mph will have the current issues at the same time as the newsagents. i used to have to wait till the end of the month to buy that month's issue.

"Hollywood uses a handful of clichés to denote villainy. The bad guys are Nazis, Asians, Soviets or Arabs. They wear black clothing and they speak with accents.

Now there's a new one: The baddies use Windows PCs."

club review: nuovo, kuala lumpur

situated opposite the still standing and frequently refurbished emporium club, erected in a spot where this writer have often passed and never knew was large enough for a building, stands the latest night spot to hit the hustle and bustle of the city of kuala lumpur. my first impression of the building is that it must have been quite cheap to build as it looks as though it has been built using aluminium foils. lacking further inspection, this writer was unable to verify this observation. however, the walls does look solid enough from the inside. so, it just might be something stronger than aluminium ... might.

the club's divided into two sections. r&b on the ground floor and rave/house/trance (i still haven't figured out how to tell the difference between those). at least that was how it was on the saturday that i was there. whether or not they have a varying themes on other days is something that this writer will have to find out in a future date.

with full length glass windows surrounding the section facing the main streets (it's in a corner so there are two streets) and sliding doors at the main entrance and at the side, as well as a sidewalk the width of approximately two small tables, the ground floor gave a feeling of space ... until you enter the club. an medium sized island bar, lots of tall tables and plush sofas splatter around the club and a small dance floor takes up the space of the ground floor. it was well lit, although not overly lighted, with a light reddish lighting that i think was quite appropriate for an r&b club. i can't explain why i think reddish lighting seems to fit; it just feels right.

the clientelle in this floor is a pretty good mix. mostly locals with a healthy dose of expats. equal mixture of ethnicity and a good range in age as well. not as young a crowd as, lets say bali in sunway (which rumour has is will be closing down real soon) or the r&b club or*nge on jalan kia peng. working adults mostly, i think.

okay, onward to the 1st floor.

following the counter where you pay your cover charge (around RM30-RM40, must have this confirmed as well since i got in through my friend who bought a bottle), is a spiralling staircase leading up to the second dance area. my friend like the red tinted windows that offers a street view across to the beach club on the wall in which the stairs was placed against. i on the other hand thought it might have looked better in blue. even more so after seeing the room in blue light with white furnishing after a short dimly hallway that greets the end of the staircase. this is a room for people to just sit and have a few booze, similar to a room i've seen at movement. all of the table was reserved that day. we were told to get our bottle from the bar at the dance area which adjoins this blue room so we left that room.

so, we shimmied our way to the dance area. from the entrace, you can see that it was actually a two level space. a staircase on the left of the entrance leads you to a members only section. it has more tables and chairs and a bar plus you have a great view of the dance floor. the dance floor is of a medium size and only starts filling up at around 12.30am but fill up it does way up until the club closes. again, the crowd is mixed although mostly young working adults with a smatterring of older folks about and there were also fewer expats around.

all in all, a satisfying and rather enjoyable trip. would definitely come back to nouvo the next time i need to party and booze.

am at work. finally going to catch up on work. have been slagging off the past few weeks. even the idiot's noticed. asking me why i'm so slow these few days. even told the big boss i looked tired and must have been burnt out when big boss asked him where i was the time i was sick.

didn't do much the last two days cause of the meetings i had to sit in. i felt that it didn't involve my department/company much as the project had more to do with setting up network and hardwares than softwares; which is what i do, softwares. so i've just been sitting in. contributing little if any to the meeting. what a complete waste of time.

managed to weasal my way out of the meeting at 3.30pm yesterday and got some work done. still think that the company should really implement the flexi-time practise. then i don't have to 'stay back'. if they did, i think i'd start work at 1pm and leave at 8pm. my ideal working hours.

i'm a night person.

brain doesn't work in the morning. waste of hours spent in office in the morning. never get anything done. wonder why that is.

six days without a blog. must be a record for me. but then, nobody's missed me have they? i'm still amazed there are people who comes back to this blog day in and day out. albeit, there aren't a lot of people coming and going ... but the numbers says there are some. thank you somes.

we're into the third day of the chinese new year now. twelve more days to go. doesn't feel like new years this year. don't know why. we had the reunion dinner the night before new years ... steamboat as usual. us kids received our ang pows as expected. we all gorged ourselves to the max since the reunion dinner ... as usual. everything's going about the same as it's always been for new years.

so, why was i in such a funk the whole time? i didn't feel the whole spirit of new years at all. not once. not during the reunion dinner. not the next morning, first day of new years, when we started stuffing our faces with our fave home-cooked assam laksa and popiah. nor a few hours later when we ate again during lunch. nor a few hours later during dinner.

maybe it's cause our little 'casino' didn't open this year ... we gamble a little every year during new years, blackjacks usually. no biggie, only $1 or 50 cent bets, small bets really, just for fun, but we do have lots of laughs.

maybe it's cause papa's working almost the whole time. he's on a project for KLIA. don't understand why he has to work during the holidays though. maybe the deadline's really tight or something. don't know. he seems really tired these days. all the field work required for the project must be taking it's toll. he's been sick a few times and the he's been travelling to indonesia and thailand for other projects. he might be taking in more than he can handle. maybe he should slow down.

maybe it's just me being selfish again. since my room's on the ground floor and the huge tv's in my room (temporarily), a stream of people have been coming and going pretty as they please into and out of my room. the computer which papa uses is also in my room. it's like i have no privacy! i even have to change clothes elsewhere. there's always people about. it's like living in a dorm! ... not like i would know exactly how that feels like since i've never lived in one but i suspect i'd go quite mad if i ever had to. empress the selfish bitch!

urgh! i don't know. it's probably just me being a scrooge again. well, 'tis not the season but it works the same. i can just hear myself going 'bah humbug' to all the cheery people who's enjoying the new years.

i really need to analyse myself. why do i feel so down the whole time? what is it that's causing this feeling?

problem is, i can't really pin point the answer. i just don't know.

i don't know.

je se pas.

according to my mom, that's my favourite phrase. ask me anything and i'd just shrug and say "i don't know".

okay. was back at work after two days of rest but couldn't blog cause the network was down at work. the whole day.

i got an email from the producer of the audition i attended last saturday. it was an audition for two musicals; 'something happened on the way to the forum' and 'pirates of penzance'. according to the producer, they would love to give me a part except my schedule doesn't fit into their rehearsal schedule. here's the excerpt from the mail.

Hi Callista!

It was a real pleasure meeting you on Saturday and thank you for coming to
the audition.

We would like to offer you a part in FORUM but will not be able to
accommodate your current work schedule.

Please let us know if your schedule changes. Thanks again and hope you can
come see the show!

Chae Lian
Producer

P.S. we will contact you again at the end of July when we finalise casting
for PIRATES OF PENZANCE.

so, wondering if they were just being polite and was gently rejecting me citing schedule clash, i wrote back to her, after consulting a friend, asking for their schedule to see if i can make rehearsals and this was the reply ...

Dear Callista,

We rehearse from after lunch onwards for about 5 - 6 weeks starting in
March. Once the show starts its run from April 19th - May 11th, you'll only
be needed at night so you can return to your day job.

It is a pretty heavy commitment and we know that it will be difficult for
bosses to give that much time off. One or two days a week might be OK but
probably not everyday for several weeks. Anyway, if you think this can be
worked out, let us know. We already have a shortlist of people but we can
add you on if you are available.

Chae Lian

they should have stated that people who have usual working hours need not apply. then i wouldn't have bother to go. but then i'm kinda glad i did as well cause now i know i can get a part. i must have done something right that day although i forgot my lyrics and couldn't really concentrate on acting out the song.

*sigh* i guess, childhood dream would have to wait a little while longer. always dreamed of being in a musical. all the dancing and singing. i think it's due to all the ballet classes and piano lessons i was taking and the series 'fame' on the telly. wanted to study in a school like that where you can pursue your dreams. pretty cool ... until reality kicks in and there's no such school in malaysia then. nor would my parents have allowed me to go to such a school. no security and what not in show business.

ah ... c'est la vie!

it's finally happened. i'm officially sick. after a week long of stuffed nose, the fever has finally caught on and it's also giving me a mighty headache.

it's a miracle i managed to drive myself to the clinic and back.

won't be writing for at least two days since i'm at home and the connection sucks. won't have much to write about anyway unless i write about how much time i spend in bed sick. i just had to update my auditions page.

hmmm ... haven't written about the asian x-games experience. will do so when my body and head doesn't ache so much.

ta.

ack! ... another quiz

Daria is the poster child for "teen misfit," and holds in high contempt what she sees as the shallowness and superficiality of the world around her. She is also cynical -- though she'd say she's "realistic" -- and mistrustful of authority, and doesn't hesitate to make her opinions known when she sees fit. She has a talent for writing, a sharp intellect, an even sharper tongue (her sarcasm could cut tempered steel), and a wit so dry it makes the Sahara look like a rain forest.

... and another

"You are just as interesting as your weblog!"

You have an interesting weblog and an equally interesting life. You don't need to exaggerate to make your stories sound exciting. They already are. You have a small circle of friends, both online and offline, and they all love having you around. You're an all around nice person and the best friend anyone could ever imagine having.

to apply or not to apply, that is the question...

for the past few days, the idea of applying for a PR to australia has, yet again, reared it's ugly head. it has always been at the back of my mind ever since the day i touched done back on my home soil.

the dream of going back to melbourne. ahhh ... what a dream.

of a life of independence. of the unpredictable yet lovely, at least to me, weather. of a life far away from my family and all the headaches of life in a family.

my friends have different opinions on whether i should or shouldn't go for it. one's all for the idea as she has regretted her decision or rather lack of options that disabled her from applying. another's all for it cause he's never been there but have met the people and it sounds like a great place to live (i agree! ... however, i might be biased). others were more reflective?, as in i should think carefully about the reasons i would want to live in australia. one opined that maybe i should do a little more travelling before deciding on australia as a destination.

hmmm ... a valid point that. however, travelling required money and time. two things that i do not have much in abundance at this moment. why no time? you might ask. the answer is simple, really. it is said that the chances of having the australian PR application approved is higher for those below 25 years of age. and as you know, yours truly will be that age at the end of this year. therefore, i have only about 10 more months left to decide.

so, why am i considering of applying?

i think, i need to get away from the security of my family. i think, i would like to experience again the feeling of being independant like in 1998. although that wasn't truly independant as money was still coming from my family and i did not really have to worry about it. i think, the weather was good for my skin as i had less acne while i was there. i think, it's my fascination with 'white people'.

i think. i think. i think.

i'm not entirely sure.

it's just that i remembered that i loved being there. i loved paying my own bills. cooking my own food. the walk to the laundromat to drop off the clothes and the walk to get the clothes back. wearing a sweater to keep off the cold air from direct contact with your skin. the nice walk to the park to sit on the swing or the walk to the pool thirty minutes away or to chadstone for a movie without breaking a sweat. the musicals that are shown in the city ... ah, the musicals, my love, my life.

maybe it's just the novelty of being away from home for the first time. you know? no restrictions from parents. no worrying about what others in the family is going through and having to adjust according to what they are feeling at the moment ... which can turn out to be quite taxing. no lectures from parents regarding one thing or the other. no watchfull eyes telling us we're doing this or that wrongly. nobody stopping me from trying out something even though it might prove disasterous.

i don't know. should i? or shouldn't i?

how do i decide?

is the need to feel independant reason enough to want to move to a new country?

i've been doing a lot of the test on emode lately. this is one of the result that i particularly like ... although, how accurate it is is unknown to me. it the result of the 'which executive are you?' test.

Okay, time to confess: You've always loved that Randy Newman song "It's Money That I Love," haven't you? Don't worry — that's not a problem. In fact, it actually gives you an advantage in this bottom-line-focused rat race. Not to mention that it makes you an ideal CFO. Chief financial officers are all about money, from accounts payable to petty cash. Since you're detail-oriented and a consummate perfectionist, you'd be great at making sure all the columns on the spreadsheet add up right. Minding the books is hard work, but you love a challenge. Who knows? If this works out, you could end up like Scrooge McDuck and have a giant money bin to swim in. (Mind if we come over for a dip?) No doubt about it, there's a promotion in your future. So keep up the good work!

this one's for the 'what type are you?' test:

You are a Go Getter

Ambitious, focused, dedicated — you're a true Go-Getter. Though you once may have been president of your high school class or editor of the college newspaper, these days you're likely to be found on your cell phone or making an appointment in your Palm Pilot. A short-skirted "Ally McBeal" business suit is your uniform of choice, which lots of men find quite sexy. Your sights are set on career, fame, and fortune, and you may not think you have time for a risky investment like love. Naturally, you attract guys who love a challenge — they're desperate to close the deal and show you that you're wrong. They can probably relate to your insatiable desire to succeed, but want to prove that love is just one more thing at which you can excel.

the 'who's your type? test:

Your type is the Casanova

You're on the market for a sweet-talking, smooth-moving, good-lookingCasanova. This stud knows exactly what to do and say in any situation. He'squite the charmer. Put him in a room, and everyone flocks to him. He'squick-witted, incredibly stylish, and runs with the right crowd. Does thisguy ever have to wait in line? No way. Does he look like he just stepped outof GQ magazine? Always. This super-suave guy is not only fun to be around,but he's part of the coolest scene. Whether it's a top-notch restaurant orthe hottest new club, your man is there. He's a real ladies man. Whenyou're around him, you feel like you're the center of the universe. Thiship, hot guy has got the slick moves and smart lines that keep you comingback for more!

plus several more which i'll post tomorrow. gotta get home for a bit of din-din before heading for streetvoiz practise. and then ice-creams afters ... 31% discount at baskin robbins every 31st of the month ... ie. today!

i'm psyched! my first online purchase for myself will be arriving anyday soon. just received a mail from the people at acmabooks saying that 2 of the 3 bad girls books i ordered have been shipped. yay!

:: y e s t e r d a y ::

more proof that her imperial highness never learns from her mistakes!

had planned on a day in the city loafing about and checking out the asian junior extreme games that begins yesterday. alone. that is after a little chore of dropping off the envelope for my credit card payment.

what happened was two hours of sitting behing the backseat of my brother's car going toward the city. pros - free transportation (i never drive to town if i can help it. the train is so much more convenient). cons - ... continue reading ...

as i was preparing to leave for the city, stef woke up. she looked bored and didn't seem to have anything to do that day. so, i suggested that she accompany me to the city (mistake #1). waited for her to get ready. brother was also going into the city so got a ride from him.

he stopped to pickup r, his girlfriend. she hasn't gotten ready yet when we got to her place, which was 45 minutes after he told her we were leaving for her place. seems that's typical behaviour for her.

sat at a nearby mamak shop for a drink while we waited. she got there a short while later. we were still having our drinks and bro & stef had just ordered fried chicken.

a slight commotion made me turn my head toward the front of the shop where i spied a police near my brother's illegally parked car. alerted him about it but it was already too late so he left the car there in the illegal spot. hey! since we're already gonna pay for it, why move?

off we go again going towards the city. towards citibank for my chore. towards klcc after that. ... really slowly due to the infamous kl traffic.

since it was nearing lunchtime, we all decided to have lunch together at klcc after my bro finish his chore with his insurance agent (mistake #2). i think me and stef wandered around dayabumi for around an hour or more before my brother finished. if you know dayabumi, you'd know how bored and aimless we had been. great! it's already 2pm by then.

my turn ... my chore. they waited for my while i ran into citibank to drop in the envelope.

while i was in, they were told not to wait so they had to go out into the busy streets. they called to tell me to walk to klcc on my own cause they couldn't wait. fine! tis not that far away so it's fine.

had lunch at my fave cafe chain (at the moment). bro volunteered me to pay for lunch and stef seconded it. urgh! hate stef. i'd just paid my bills and here i am running up the numbers again with this new bill. it was almost a hundred ringgit! remember? it was lunch for 4 person. okay fine. i don't do this too often. it's okay. and bro did give me a lift. hmmm ... this free ride was turning out to cost more than anything.

they didn't have much in mind to do after that, so i suggested my original plan of stopping over at the x-games for a looksee.

boy! was it packed! there was a crowd getting in. a crowd getting to the stand to the stands. a crowd everywhere. only managed to watch a dismayal performance from malaysia's team, wonder how they ever got in! missed the demo by 2 japanese brothers over at the vert cause it was on a different stand. was watching the competitors warm up, there was this really small kid in yellow who was really good and light and this other kid in red who was fast and sharp, and waiting for the games to actually begin when my bro called saying we're heading home. argh! just when it's about to begin!

then ... had to listen to them complain in the car about how everything was a waste of time. how we shouldn't have stopped at the games. how we should have just stayed at klcc and did some shopping. urgh!

i'm going to go back to the games next week. but this time, on my own. i can't seem do anything that i want when i go out with other without them grumbling about something or the other. well guys, nobody forced you to follow me to the games. you went of your own free will.

you've been hacking and coughing all day long till tears roll out from you eyes. your mouth feels dry from breathing through your mouth cause that's the only way to get oxigen into your body. and your body ... your body feels cold from the air conditioning in the office but putting on the jacket is just too warm. so, you've been putting on and taking off the jacket to stay warm or cool off intermittedly.

now, just 15 minutes to go to official after hours, it's pouring outside. your car is parked in the building across the road. you don't have an umbrella with you.

just how bad can the day get?

not much more, i hope, as there aren't too many hours left. small consolation for such a miserable day.

why didn't i just pack up and go home to my comfortable bed at home? well, maybe just cause i'm not really that sick. just that the bloody cough and stuffed nose is such a bother. had i gone to the doctors, the probably would have just given me my medication and hie my ass back to the office without and mc. so why bother?

i've taken 2 paracetamol before lunch (probably what the docs would give me anyway) and should probably take another 2 right now! in fact i think i will.

right ... just did.

saturday's come and gone. peter didn't ask me out again. so i guess he's either not interested in anything more than friendship or he's just not interested anymore. doesn't matter. i'm fine with it was just maybe gonna give it a shot should it turn out to be more than friendship.

anyway, since i was free on saturday, went out with some friends for dinner and then shimmied over to the newly reopened 'spiral'. supposedly a really hip and happening r&b club before the close down for relocation. they've relocated. reopened last week. even read a review of the club saturday morning in the papers. pretty good review so i was quite psyched about going.

bleagh ... big disappointment! huge! the place looks good enough. bar's an island sorta thing, plenty of places to sit and stuff and drinks was pretty reasonably priced. problem was, the dance floor was small. a little too small in fact, that all of us thought it was more of a bar with a little dance space than a dance club.

however, they still had problems filling that tiny dance space. seems that not many people comes to the club. it was 12.30am and there was barely anyone on the dance floor. plus, the paper's reviewed that the patrons should be slightly dressy ... meaning no t-shirt and jeans but there was this whole bunch of 30-somethings there wearing exactly that. i'm now suspecting whether the reviewer have actually been to the club and wasn't too drunk and have halucinated his whole joyous experience in the club.

we were there quite early at 11pm and the music being played was good. won't say excellent but acceptable. that was before anyone was in there and nobody, absolutely nobody was on the dance floor. then when about 5 person was on the dance floor, the started playing these retro-pop songs! c'mon! how in the world did pop song fit into and r&b club. needless to say, i didn't get up and boogie cause those are just not the songs i'd boogie to. the 30-somethings didn't seem to mind. in fact, i think they kinda enjoyed it. me, i was just sitting back and laughing at the ways some of them danced. LOL. i know. i know. shouldn't laugh at people just cause they have two left feet but it was just so hilarious i couldn't help myself.

all in all, not a very nice place to go. i wouldn't go there again. what with the lousy music and sleazy crowd. oh! forgot to mention the crowd. there was this bunch of nigerians and one of them tried to pick-up a friend of mine. he was so full of himself. saying how he's a son of a diplomat, how he likes fat women (my friend's kinda on the plump side but she's cute), how much he loves her. my friend was not impressed. not impressed at all. he even asked her if she was a lesbo cause she keeps sticking to me. newsflash guys! girls tend to stick together either when they are uncomfortable with your advances and wants you to hie your ass away from her or when they really like you and am discussing whether to give you a chance (this indicated by giggles and coy looks in your direction). so, take your cue guys and leave or proceed accordingly.

so, in conclusion, i didn't have a nice time and this outing currently hold the record for me dancing the least songs. i usually can go on for hours at end on the dance floor. if you're horny and are on the lookout for some dark meat, you could probably get some action here. otherwise, you'd do better heading somewhere like 'the beach club' or 'el nino'.

met up with peter last night. i'm not sure if you'd call that a date or not. we had coffee, a bit of chat, a bit of laugh. was that a date? i'm not sure cause i haven't been on too many of them. dates ... that is.

only one comes to mind as a actual date. it was back when i was ... 16? 17? a friend's of my brother asked me out and i thought, "sure! why not! let's give this dating thing a shot." that's the one and only time i went out with that guy though. it's not like we didn't have fun. we did. watched a movie. went to the arcade. just plain hung out. so what's the difference between that and hanging out with friends? i didn't see the difference plus it wasn't like i was into the guy so we never went out again. he's still my brother's friend and we're kinda friends as well, i guess.

then there was this french guy who picked me up from coffee bean. i had just gotten back from melbourne and was job searching. had just hand delivered a resume to a company in town and thought i'd hang for awhile. then i met him. i don't even know why i let him pick me up. he wasn't even cute! turns out he's sort of a horny guy. probably out searching for a cheap lay. only went out with him like twice i think. then it was buh-bye!

right. and in between that, i had this course mate who liked me. i knew he kinda likes me but we're mostly friends really. i don't ever think of him as boyfriend material. this is gonna sound really bad of me but ... he's fat and not even ok looking. okay all you people who wants to bash me for not liking fat ugly people do so now or forever hold your peace .... we'd hang out. go dinners. watch movies. never once did i think those were preludes to a certain something that would happen later ...

we were out in the city (melbourne at that time). don't remember what we did but i think we went to watch the 'wedding singer' ... the one with adam sandler and drew barrymore. then we had a delicious italian dinner. mmm ... yum! then we hopped on the train to head home (we students all live around the same area). it was in the train when he popped the question. NO! not THE. geez! only that he asked me whether i wanted to be his girlfriend. of course i told him no and i don't think of him as a boyfriend and that we're good friends. then he asked, "why? why don't you want to be my girlfriend? don't we have a good time when we hang out? i'm a nice guy aren't i?" i went "yes. yes. yes. but i still don't want you as a boyfriend. i don't feel anything for you but friendship." you'd think he'd leave it at that wouldn't you? but no! he had to insist that i tell him the reason i don't want to be his girlfriend. i was like, "haven't you hear a word i've said? i don't feel anything for you. that's why! plus, i don't really want a boyfriend right now. i'm happy being single."

at this point, i was wishing that i could just walk away from him but the train's moving. even worse, we'd taken an express train and it'll arrive at one station before the one i'm getting off which was his station. wish i could have jumped off or something cause he was making me feel really uncomfortable. i stayed silent till he got off. then i headed towards my friends place which i was staying over at that day. of course i told her what happened and she agreed that he shouldn't have placed me in such a spot. all i could say was "hell yeah!"

ever since that day, i've avoided meeting up with him. oh we wen't out for dinner once last year. i was hoping he'd forget the whole incident but i sort of feel that he still likes me that way cause he asked me whether i was seeing anyone at the moment. why i wasn't. as if my explanation of not wanting a boyfriend is baseless. so, yeah, haven't spoken to him since that dinner. it's kinda sad to loose a good friend you can hang out with due to all this crap!

then there's this guy, simon, whom i met at the choir agm. he's a malaysian working in singapore. when he came back for a few days he asked me if i'd like to have coffee. again i went ... yeah. sure. why not. a bit of chat. a bit of laugh. and then he asked whether i watch movies. i'm thinking, "okay. here we go!" but said "sure i do." thing is he didn't really ask me to go for a movie just whether i do watch movies or not. so i took it, the question, literally in the hopes that he gets the idea and switch topic or something.

so ... that's the extent of my dating life. pathetic isn't it? maybe. but mostly it's cause i don't really feel like having a relationship so why date at all?

people say a lot good things about relationships. about how it helps you grow. enriches you life. makes feel things and all that. even though relationship eventually goes sour at the end, you still learn from it and it makes better person. more experience with life.

probably that's what's missing in my life. i always feel like life is pointless. i'm just going through the motions. i don't matter in the whole picture. nothing would be missed if i should suddenly dissappear. it's like what eponin sang "without me, his life would go on turning" in the song 'on my own' from les miserable. in my case, it would go "without me, the world would go on turning".

i really need life experience. most thing i know i've learned from books and i feel i've been sheltered all my life. i need to experience things.

on that note, i think i'll see how things with peter goes. i might actually give the boyfriend-girlfriend-relationship thing a go. he asked what i was doing this weekend and i said i didn't know. he said he's mail me. but he didn't today. maybe sometime this week he will. maybe our meet didn't go too well. don't know.

and life goes on.

created a little site to place announcement for auditions that i come across on the internet, newspaper, ...etc. check it out at http://auditions.blogspot.com.

i've got more to add but don't have the time yet. would do it later. if you have audition information, email me the details and i'll place them there.

first practise for the new dance formation team happened yesterday morning. pretty good effort too. learned some new moves. relearned some old ones. one hour and forty five minutes later, it's over. nice having a little aerobic exercise in the morning. :) following that, had a regular set of big mac meal. mwaahaha ... all the burnt calories regained.

then, more dancing. practise the competition routine with my partner for over an hour before we stopped. me out of exhaustion and him cause he's gotta go chauffer his mom.

crashed out at prem's place for a few hours after sending my car for a wash and vacum (finally!). they were watching 'the corruptor' showing on astro. i didn't remember the movie being so utterly boring the last time i saw it. granted, i still have no idea what chow yun-fat was mumbling about throughout the whole movie. he really need to learn how to speak english before he justifies himself a hollywood actor and his big fat paycheck. just stick to hong kong movies mr.chow until you do, okay?

i brought prem the lavay smith cd i had and she made a copy of it there and then so i could take it home on the same day unlike my russell watson cd that she held hostage for over two months. also brought her the vcd of Amelie ... the french movie that's been garnering really good reviews. it's a light and cute movie. i like.

next headed over to one-utama to check out the seating for the musical 'fame'. yay! a musical finally coming to town. yes? no! not really. i'm still recovering from the shock of the ticket pricing and the seating for the prices. almost 75% of the seating has been allocated to the most expensive ticket (RM250). the cheapest tickets (RM100 - evening show; RM75 - matinee) only occupied 2 - read my lips - 2 rows at the back of the third floor! the next cheapest ticket (RM150 - eve; RM125? - matinee) isn't much better either as they occupy the next 5 - 6 rows in front of the 2 rows and also only at the third floor. the second most expensive tickets (RM200; RM175) are loosely speared out throughout the theatre space of all three floors. eveyone's reconsidering if they really will go for the show. we were all thinking of watching it at the cheapest ticket but if we're not going to see anything at the back of the third floor, we might as well head off to the rental store and get 'fame' the movie on tape! hmmm ... maybe i'll get my sisters to get tickets ... student price is only RM50 and they get a seat at the back of the ground floor ... then i'll take trish's ticket (stef wants to watch too) and watch the show ... hopefully they won't check for student identification on entering the theatre.

still reeling from the shock, prem and push dropped me at the car wash to pick up my car ... my car has never looked so clean! the interior is clean! all trace of dust, sand, grime, gone! yay! headed onwards to the studio for more practise. still tired. wasn't able to practise for too long. had about an hour practise before i called it a day. exhausted. thoroughly drained.

took a shower. plopped in front of the tv for a bit. took dinner in front of tv. started nodding off while watching 'early edition'. switched off telly and went to bed. it was 8pm then. when i woke up next, it's time to get ready for work. wow! haven't gone to bed at 8pm since ... i can't remember. never went to bed early even when i was a kid of 5. probably did when i was a toddler but i can't remember.

it amazes me that i managed to do this - practise, practise, practise for a whole day - every week for about a year when i was doing ballet during my teens. i guess there is something to this age-stamina thing. either that or just cause i haven't been as active after school years and the stamina's deteriorated. yeah. that's probably it. well, it's better that than to think that i'm getting too old for this, isn't it?

• Just checked Rach's blog. It's gone! Rach! What happened?


• The following is a snippet from a mail I received.
  

  Well, if you really have RM50 to spend and no singing teacher, I suggest we go
  out for dinner instead!
  
  let me know when you're free
  

  
  Question ... is he asking me out or am I reading too much into it?
  

My brakes doesn't seem to be working too well. It's a good thing I wasn't speeding when I found that out. Crawled like a snail this morning to get to work. Have to tell my dad about it. I'm not sure where to take the car for servicing. There's the wireman and then there's the mechanic. When do I go to a wireman and when to a mechanic? People should write stuff like this down or tell us about it during drivers ed. Driver's ed's a waste of time here. All we do is sit there for about 6 hours listening to some guy drone on and on about nothing of importance. Some people slept through the class and some started flirting with some kids - kids mainly cause someone 21 while most were only about 17. Anyway, it was a waste of time.

It's Friday today. Maybe I'll start giving all the potential voice coaches a call later. There's this one guy who seems to be teaching a lot of the members of the Selangor Phil Choir and come highly recommended by Cheryl. Although Cris says that he's all booked, Cheryl thinks that I should call him up and try and that he might take me if he thinks I am serious and have potential. Hmmm ... I'm not sure whether I have potential but I'm serious though. So, fingers crossed.