Thursday, December 20, 2001

Countdown to two dozen years of life - 1 day to go.



Something interesting from 'The Phil News', the Selangor Phil's newsletter, which I found last night while clearing my choir bag and placing reinforcement rings on my scores.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AN ALTO

10 You get really good at singing an E flat.
9 You get to sing the same note for 12 consecutive bars.
8 You don't really need to warm up to sing 12 consecutive bars of E flat.
7 If the choir is rough, it's unlikely the altos will be blamed.
6 You have lots of time to chat during soprano solos.
5 You get to pretend that you are better than the sopranos, because everybody knows that women only sing soprano so they don't have to learn to read music.
4 You can sometimes find part-time work singing tenor.
3 Altos get all the great intervals.
2 When the sopranos are holding some outrageously high note at the end of a piece, the altos always get the last words.
1 When the altos miss a note, nobody gets hurt.



TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING A BASS

10 You don't have to tighten your pants to reach your note.
9 You don't have to worry about a woman stealing your job.
8 Or a pre-adolescent boy.
7 Action heroes are always basses. That is, if they ever sang, they would be basses.
6 You get great memorable lyrics like bop, bop, bop, bop.
5 If the singing job doesn't work out, there's always broadcasting.
4 You never have to learn to read the treble clef.
3 If you get a cold, so what.
2 For fun you can sing at the bottom of your range and fool people into thinking there's an earthquake.
1 If you belch while you're singing, the audience just thinks it's part of the score.

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