Tuesday, December 28, 2004


December is the best time of the year! ... just paraphrasing one of the Christmas tunes we sang in one of the choir's concert a couple years back.

December's when I get presents! Yay pressies! Birthday pressies! Christmas pressies! Pressies! Pressies!

So, what did I get this year? Hmmm ... lots of liquid containers. Two mugs, a glass, and a water bottle (dang! I forget what those bottles are called!). Am I looking dehydrated? Also, lots of accessories. This one's definitely a hint about my lack of accessorising. :D

Thanks everyone!!! Lovely lovely presents!

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Broken toys?!

My toys might be broken.

I sent two rolls of films to be developed and both rolls came out blank. One's the first B&W test roll from the Holga and the second's from the Cybersampler.

There could be two possibilities:
  1. the films got exposed in the long period of time that it was in my little white backpack. I think it's been there for a few months. Can't even remember when I took them out of the camera.
  2. the films got exposed when I took it out of the camera. This might be applicable only to the Holga though, since the Cybersampler is just a P&S where the film rolls nicely back into the cannister after you've rewounded it.
  3. the films got sick of tired of sitting in the camera waiting for me to finish them and decided to expose themselves; just to teach me a lesson!
Urgh! Ok ok ... so, I'm not the world's greatest photographer, I'm not even a good photographer. I just like the cameras. :D

Hopefully they're not broken. :( Will bring the Holga out for a walk tomorrow and finish the roll that's in there.

Please work!

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Should but didn't

There are times when there are events where I should have blogged about but don't. It seems that I only blog when my temper flares and in doing so, tend to raise the tempers of others as well. Ah well ... such is the way of bitch blogs.

Anyway, I should have wrote that I won a competition on Sunday.

It was a latin dance competition. Yeah, I finally found a partner. It was this guy from my ex-teacher's class, which I went in a few times to assist a few years ago. Anyway, he just got back from his studies and was looking for a partner. So, we got together, had about four classes and about as many extra practises and went for the competition.

It's nothing incredible. Yes, I did win but we only entered the Beginners category. A few friend from the studio teased me that it wasn't fair for us to join that category cause I have previously competed in Novice/Grade D (one up from Beginners) and once in Pre-Amatuer/Grade C.

Since I've never competed in Beginners before -- due to my previous partner having won in that category and was not allowed to compete in the same category again -- and I've never even been in the finals of Novice, I didn't think it was unfair. Besides, my new partner has never competed here before; only in the collegiates. That's not unfair ... was it?

We won! Ha ha ... at least I can say I won the Beginners. Now I'll try to get in the finals of the Novice and maybe win?

Oh yes! Had a little mishap during the finals. I almost did a Janet Jackson towards the end of the Jive, when the clasp of my costume (a halter neck dress) popped. Luckily I heard it pop and managed to catch it and stepped to the side to try and reclasp it. Didn't manage to though but thankfully, it was towards the end of the dance. One of the adjudicators kept watching me, wondering why I stopped halfway and stepped out of the floor. Guess he must have figured out that I had a problem with my costume when my friend came to help me with it and didn't mark me down for it. *phew*

That was quite a day! Even managed to rush to sing with the choir at the convent before rushing back to the competition to get my results. I wanted to just wear my tracks during the prize presentation but Mr. Lee (my teacher) said he'd rather I don't go out than to let me go out there looking like that. Well ...

... actually he said he'd rather I went out in my underwear than let me go out like that. ;P

I promtly changed back to my costume :)

How appropriate! :)

Was over at the Goddess's place when I tried this out. Just had to laugh when I saw the resulting card. LOL ...

I am The Empress

The Empress can refer to any aspect of Motherhood. She can be an individual mother, but as a major arcana card, she also goes beyond the specifics of mothering to its essence - the creation of life and its sustenance through loving care and attention. The Empress can also represent lavish abundance of all kinds. She offers a cornucopia of delights, especially those of the senses - food, pleasure and beauty. She can suggest material reward, but only with the understanding that riches go with a generous and open spirit. The Empress asks you to embrace the principle of life and enjoy its bountiful goodness.

For a full description of your card and other goodies, please visit LearnTarot.com

What tarot card are you? Enter your birthdate.

Month: Day: Year:

Thursday, December 02, 2004

three strikes, you're out

I love musicals.
I really cannot recall what influenced me in the first place. Nobody else at home listens to it. My friends way-back-then don't listen to it. So it's sort of a puzzle to me how I came about them and how I've come to love them so.

More than anything, besides listening and watching them, I would love to be in one.

From my older postings about my various attempts at audition, you would know that I don't audition well. Plus, a musical production here is few and far between, which is why I've been in more opera productions than musicals. In the previous two musical auditions, I didn't get them. The first cited schedule incompatibility and the second ... well, the second, I was just total crap. Monologue was involved and I don't know how to do that.

This third time, the audition went moderately well. I was out of pitch, and I knew it as soon as I sang it, which is bad, and made even worse when the auditioner, mentions it and started plonking on the piano. Must say, aside from the slight off-pitch, I felt that I was more relaxed singing this time than at my other auditions. I think I was quite clear and projected well enough without too much of the vibrato that seems to appear whenever I'm nervous. So, I guess, that's an improvement. Later the auditioner told me to stay back and then asked me to go to her house for a session. Little did I know that this was strike one!

Strike two was entirely my fault. The session at the auditioner's was three days after the audition. I should have spent the two days before the session preparing for it but I didn't. In fact, I didn't even know what song I wanted to do until the night before. Since she doesn't mind us looking at sheet music when we sang, that made me even lazier. Also, I've never really practised for auditions. I actually don't know how to do that. I'm singing all the time anyway so I took that as having practised. Guess it has to be more concentrated than that!

Anyway, during the session, she briefed us on what she's trying to achieve, what the sessions are for and what the musical is about. It all sounded terribly interesting and experimental. It would be interesting in seeing what comes out of it all. Then she made us, there were three of us in that session, sing two songs. The first was four lines of Is You Is Or Is You Ain't, My Baby and the second was Audrey II's song Mean Green Monster from Outer Space from the musical Little Shop of Horrors. After that, we each did the song we've 'prepared'. I did badly, my pitch was everywhere and was holding back my voice and as the song went, it went worse and worse as I hear myself sounding worse and worse which made me sing even worse. Should have just sung one of those songs that I sing all the time instead of selecting something new cause she wanted variety in the pieces she asked us to prepare. After that, we arranged for our next session. Mine was the week after while the other two were in December?

Why I didn't think that odd, I didn't know. I just didn't question it. Only thought that it was because I could make it.

This morning was the second session.

There were more people this time, eight, I think, including some local celebrities. It was their first session with her except me and one other person. There was no briefing and we started directly with Is You Is Or Is You Ain't, My Baby. She gave out scores this time and we did the whole song. As well as we could do for that song in one session anyway. We did some exercises to improve timing and tried a voice wobbling exercise. I had trouble doing the wobbling exercise. I couldn't do it when I came my turn to try it. The wobbling was fine when I tried it softly on my own while we were all experimenting on how to produce it but when it came my turn to do it, I just lost it. It just wouldn't wobble.

We took a break after that and did Mean Green Monster from Outer Space when we came back. It was a blast even though I didn't get all the timing and notes right. Something which I've been fretting about.

Something which I shouldn't have fretted about at all if I had known what was about to happen.

She told a few of us to stay back at the end of the session. Then asked me and another person to go with her to her office. Where she laid it on us.

She told us that the musical is going in one tangent while we were heading towards a different tangent. She said that she would not like to waste our next 6 months and then telling us that we do not fit in the picture. I asked her how am I swinging off her tangent and she says that the musical requires a more experimental sound and that I am more to-the-score. She said we had lovely voices, which is why we were there in the first place and if she was doing some other musical, something not so experimental, she would have loved to have us in the process.

I didn't know what to say. I was sad that I'm not suitable and I even told her "I'm sad but *shrugs*" and thanked her.

I wanted to say, "I don't mind wasting that 6 months. I don't mind trying and then finding out at the end of the 6 months. You might find that I'm suitable after all. I thought you wanted it to the score which is why I tried getting all the notes and timing, not that I got it correctly anyway but I knew I hit them more that the others today did."

I wanted to but I didn't. I didn't dare. How do you wedge yourself through a door that's closing in your face?

*sigh* A dream almost came true.

Monday, November 29, 2004

Haven't done these in ages ... quizzesssss

Your Power Color Is Orange

You live in the fast lane. You love action, risk, and competition.
You're spontaneous, enthusiastic, and persuasive.
But you're also easily bored - and love to rebel against structures.
You resent rules ... as well as people's attempts to control you!

What's Your Power Color? Take This Quiz :-)

You Are the Reformer


You're a responsible person - with a clear sense of right and wrong.

High standards are important to you, and you do everything to meet them.

You are your own worst critic, feeling ashamed if you're not perfect.

You have the highest integrity, and people expect you to be fair.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

You have to tell me what you want

The christmas conductor reminds me of my physics teacher back in school. She (the physics teacher) would come into the lab, call out a lazy (or maybe defeated?) "Senyap kelas" and proceeded by opening her various reference books. She usually have about two or three of them. Then class would begin with her droning on and on about this and that theory with her face down looking at her books the whole time. Save for the occasional "Senyap kelas" yet again when the din of the class gets above her acceptable level of noise.

How did the conductor remind of my teacher? Well, for most of the time while he was conducting, he has his face towards the score. His hands is beating the time and he'll cut us on cue but his face is almost constantly looking at the score. The face towards the reference material which reminded me of my ex-teacher.

Anyway, he had me wondering. If we were to learn the score and to sing the songs without scores, shouldn't he be as prepared to conduct us without the score as well?

Besides that, he doesn't seem to conduct us in terms of the dynamics that he wants and the when the song ends, he would comment that there was no dynamics. Gee ... if he didn't tell us that he wants a particular section to be louder or softer, thunderous or mousy, how were we suppose to know? The scores have indications but to what degree does he want them? Obviously whatever we were doing was not enough but if he didn't tell us to adjust it while we are singing, how were we to know?

Well, at least he can beat time and does cut us off on cue.

I think I'm just being picky about what conductors do after having been spoiled by the woof-woof conductor. She knows precisely what she wants and you can tell by her facial expression when you have or have not given her what she wanted. Even the closet case conductor knows what he wants and tells it to you while conducting; although, he can be a little erratic at times which just means that you have to watch him when you're singing. Which is something you should be doing anyway, watching your conductor.

However, the program is coming together nicely. My frustration with the matter is in the organisation. Looking for a replacement pianist is proving to be an incredibly difficult task and the conductor's not helping in being quite inflexible and refusing to have a temporary pianist for a couple rehearsals when the official pianist cannot make rehearsals. *sigh* I have two person who might be able to play for us, one of which will have to check her calendar before confirming. The other might have problem with one of our performance dates due to work. *sigh* If the former cannot make it, I'm hoping the latter will be able to maybe take off work an hour early just for that day.

Here's to hoping.

Monday, October 11, 2004

first day of the rest of my life for the next 6 months

Last day of work at the office which I have been going to like a drone, day after day, for the past 4 1/2 years was uneventful. Unremarkable. No different from packing up at the end of each working day and going home. Except this time, instead of my usual water carrying bag, what I brought down was a corrugated box, one of those you get when you buy A4 papers in bulk. Imagine ... one box, after 4 years. I'd thought my table was more cluttered than that!

So, I had my last lunch, shook my colleagues hands and left.

Except for a frantic phone call from the girl who's taking over my project while I was driving home, didn't manage to say goodbye to her cause she wasn't in the office when I left, to reconfirm that she's allowed to call me if she needs any help with the project, that was that.

A week sure have passed by really fast.

That was last Tuesday. The day after I got back from a 4 days, 3 nights stocking trip to Bangkok.

Bangkok is like a huge pasar malam. A very large pasar malam which instead a weekly event, it is on every single day. With exception for Chatuchak market. An art market which is only open on the weekends. Chatuchak is so huge that you will definitely get lost within it's confines. If you ever find anything you like in Chatuchak, my advise is for you to buy it for you're unlikely to see the shop again ... well for me at least ... and I usually have a very good sense of direction!

Besides Chatuchak, we also scouted out Pratunam for our -- my biz partner and I -- goods. Most of our stocks are acquired at Pratunam. I am dissappointed at the prices we got though. We had definitely underestimated how much it would cost. My friend told me that prices are almost 20% - 25% below what we paid for when I decided to join her in the biz. *sigh* strike one!

As I've predicted, the stocks weighed more that my friend anticipated and we decided to courier them back instead of trying to smuggle them back as luggages. We did factor in this possibility except, again, my friend quoted me a figure which was 50% lower! strike two!

Two days later, on my first day of unemployment, I received a text from my friend that we're being taxed for our package! She managed to persuade the to lower down the tax (read: bawah mejalah!) to half the value which was still quite a large amount since it was a few hundred ringgit. strike three!

This is not boding well for the price of our goods. This means that the cost goes higher and I can't offer it at too low a price and I am wary as to whether people will buy our goods at the price we'll be selling them. *praying hard*

Bangkok wasn't all bad. We had delicious sausages from a cafe called S&P, not one really since it's a chain. In fact, we went there 3 days out of the 4. :) Also, I had nail art done. It looks really lovely, really. Cheap too! Sadly, my past three unemployed weekday last week was filled with bill paying, resolving matters regarding my car and house chores. The last having detrimental effects on my nice pretty nails. They're not so nice anymore. Especially the five digits on the right. The paint have begun to chip at the edges. Still looks fine from afar but up close, you can see all it's flaws.

Today, I've begun my first step in my new job. I've begun researching on the methods to create the application which I have been employed to do. I am still not certain how to go about it and hopefully, my friend (who is my boss now), won't be too dissappointed. He'll be coming over to discuss the project later. Hope he has more insight into how he thinks it can/should be build.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Hello ... still alive

Yes, still alive. Did I disappoint anyone?

What has happened over the hiatus?

Firstly, attended a couple interview and I must say I did badly at both of them. My technical knowledge seems to have plummetted into nothingness. Without realising it, I have slowly forgotten most of the basic concepts that are required or just basic usage of the programming language that I use everyday at work. All the debugging and adding of functions into existing classes has made me a procedural programmer instead of the object-oriented programmer that is the essence of the Java language.

*sigh* tis a sad day indeed. Therefore, I am truly not surprised that they, the interviewers, did not contact me for further interviews. Hence, I am going to join in my friend's venture into his new company. Hopefully, this will give me time to reacquaint myself with all the necessary skills which I have lost as well as an opportunity to create something different. *fingers crossed*

Anyway, in that time, I was asked by one of the online networking group which I belong, to choreograph and teach them a salsa number for their monthly networking dinner. The theme for the dinner being 'Latin Heat' so, salsa is mucho latin-lah! Since I don't know much about salsa except the basic steps, the number was choreographed based on my knowledge of latin (ie. cha cha/rumba) figures.

They had in all five rehearsals excluding the venue rehearsal on the day itself and they managed to perform it satisfactorily. It wasn't perfect but it was ok and they had fun. Let me tell you, these adults gets more rowdy and more difficult to control that kids (er ... not that I deal with lots of kids, I'm just assuming! :P). I got really stressed during one of the last rehearsal cause they couldn't get one of the formation I gave them and I took it out on my friend, whom I had asked to help me with the choreography as well as in helping me teach them. Friend ... again, I'm really sorry I did that. I suck!

I didn't manage to watch them perform it live as I had an alumni meeting on the night of the dinner. Managed to run through with them a few last times at the venue before I had to dash off for the meeting and came back to the dinner just after they'd performed. Only got to watch them through tiny viewfinder of a DV.

Minor stuff ...

- got called to do a dance for a watch launch which I got paid quite reasonably and might be doing the same number again in October for another launch but studio lady has not confirmed if it's going to happen,

- am coordinating for this year's Christmas programme. Urgh! I hope that doesn't flop. The only other time I've coordinated anything which does not only require caterer calling and members calling was back in school for a Leo club activity. That didn't quite work out and the committee members had to help me out. Oh well, what can I say? I wasn't an active member, more of a silent member ... a very silent member ... almost in name only, was volunteered to do it and therefore, didn't know what in the world I was doing. I'll try and cover all bases with this one now. Even though the people involved will likely start calling me a pest for calling them too often to check on progress. :P

- front of housed for Sean Ghazi's show. The first day I FOH-ed, I thought, "man! What the heck happened to his voice? Did he choose the wrong songs?", cause I thought it was quite bad. I've heard him once before at No Black Tie last year and thought he was pretty good but he sang a different set then. He sounded better last night though, especially during the matinee. If my opinion was of any weight, I would advise him not to sing 'Last Night of the World'. Boy, you just don't falsetto well!

As for his guests, I'm not overly fond of Aura Deva as Kim and Tup Tim. It sounds a little squeaky at times. However, I must say I loved it when she sang the Meadowlark song. I don't know the title of that song but I loved it. The thought which came to me when I heard her was that, she would do quite well with the role of The Narrator for Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Unknownst to me that that's the role she's been playing most recently. Should read the programme book next time. LOL. Loved Izlyn Ramli's deep and sexy jazzy voice. Man! I wish I could sing like that! Adam Farouk? Good looking, tall and talented. He only sang one song, Elton John's Your Song, but he had a nice style. Nice.

... Right, I'll stop for now. I shall try to update more frequently but people, there's really nothing much to update aboutlah. But I will try since I do get a "Hoi woman! Update your bloglah!", sometimes. :)

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

getting stupider

The two interviews yesterday was a definite brain drain. Questions about projects which I have created several years ago and have forgotten how the whole thing works, technical questions which I have once learnt but hardly put into practise and therefore can't for the life of my explain how it'll work, questions about design patterns that came out after my schooling days which I should have kept up with but couldn't find it in me to do so; tiring as hell.

Without realising it, I believe I have gradually grown more stupid as the years go by. Maybe it's just cause I'm in this company where things have to be done a certain way - and most times it's not the right way. Maybe it's me not having the initiative to keep up with the current trends. ... I think it's a lot of both.

So now I realised that technically, I know less that I knew when I was in school. You could always count on me to understand the programming concepts easily ... linked list, pointers, inheritance. The teacher could call on me, which one of my teacher often does, for the answer and I'd be able to answer correctly. Easy peasy. Now, I can't even tell you when or why you should use extend or interface in Java.

What a disaster! I need to go back to the books. Catch up on new modelling and design techniques. Relearn! Back to school!

Thursday, August 05, 2004


I'm scared.

I've been so blasé about the whole job quitting and the not having a job for awhile won't kill me thing but the whole thing is just beginning to sink in now. All the worries and all the reasons which kept me holding on to this job for the past two year are now going to be in-your-face real, come October.

There were some calls for potential job interview a couple weeks back but I haven't received the email/callback which the agents mentioned. The proper thing to do for this would be to have me call them up and check-up except 1. I didn't have their number, 2. I don't remember the name of one of the agents who called, and 3. I'm not sure if I want to go through the whole IT thing again. About #3? I don't know what else I'm capable of doing besides IT (and even this, I don't seem to be extremely capable).

Some have suggested that I teach dance. Well ... I could do that ... but where? And who would take classes from me? Plus, I'm one of those people who of the opinion that if you don't know enough of something, you shouldn't be teaching someone else about it. I might know my cha-cha-cha but there's so much to the cha-cha-cha that I still don't know about and therefore, don't feel confident in teaching it. *sigh* I should just shut up and do it, shouldn't I? Just teach what I know? To those who don't know anything at all?

Ok. That's option 2. Option 1 is of course to just keep looking for other development jobs.

Options 3 is a really short term thing which, if precedence prevails, won't happen, a 3 contract dance job. Cool isn't it? A job just to dance. And not a super taxing dance thing either from what I hear. Backup dancing to a latino band at a new latin club/bar. Three hours a day, about 3k a month. Hmmm ... if dancing was that well paying, why are there so many struggling dancers?

Option 4 ... friend's grant gets approved and I work for him. Still in IT. Still in development but we'll be working on something new. When it gets approved lah. Got rejected the first round and will be going for a review.

Last drastic option, change industry totally. What industry am I looking at?

Event Management.

Why? I don't know? I think it might be an interesting job. Having been in several theatre/art productions I find that the many things required to get just one little production working, utterly fascinating (ehm ... one recent production notwithstanding). What Lee Swan did, what the lighting guys do, the staging guys, the Uncle Wong team ... too bad I didn't have a chance to do more in the last production. So yeah! Would love to go into event management if possible. Question is HOW?!

In the mean time, I will keep on applying for IT jobs. I still have a car to pay for. Scratching my head now wondering how I can come up with 15k to pay off the company's car loan when my last day comes. Dad doesn't think I can get a loan from the bank cause I'll be unemployed. *sigh*

Thursday, July 29, 2004

you imcompetent fool!

So, I hear you broke down at the end. Hah! Serves your right.

Strutting in like you own the group. Having the musicians screamed at because you are unprepared, unconfident, clueless about what you are doing and what you want and unwilling to admit that it was your fault. Talking down to the choir like we were some kind of ten year olds. Telling me to shut up in front of the whole choir when I was trying to tell you that the choir couldn't read what you wanted.


Fuck! We're not doing it the same timing as the main cheese? Or even almost in the general vicinity?

I consider you a friend. My voicing out the some of the member's gripes and mumbling was in hope that you will be able to work with them what they need so that they can work with you. Would you rather not hear it? Would you rather be oblivious to their problem? I think you do.

I should just keep quiet.
I should just let you keep getting frustrated on your own and not having you lash out on me.
Why should I bother to take that slack? Cause I'm just a meddling fool. Yup! I'm just a regular 'pat poh' who won't shut up and thinks she knows better.


Have it your way.
Break down every night you have to conduct.
Think that everyone's looking down at you.
Hide behind your "I don't have the experience." and yet not listen to advice by people with experience and others trying to help.
Go on! Cocoon yourself in your own greatness! Enjoy it!

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Hotmail joins in the mail storage war

Finally! Hotmail has decided to join the war of the I-give-more-storage-than-you war. Good for me and all free hotmail account users! Woo hoo! Yessiree bob! Hotmail is going to upgrade. They'll be giving all free mail subscribers 250MB of storage soon. A massive upgrade compared to it's initial miniscule 2M. Good onya! Percentage wise, even more than Yahoo! mail who just recently upgraded from 6MB to 100MB. Although, I think they must have missed a server cause one of my account have yet to benefit from the upgrade. Should probably drop them a line soon. Hmmm ...

Hotmail was my first free mail service. Got it way back in 1995? Or was it 1996? Even back then I couldn't get my name for an account. Guess I wasn't that much ahead of the pack huh? But at least I have my name for gmail now. Cool! I finally get one. Can't even purchase the domain with my name. Would it be extremely bad of me to wish that the company with the domain I want goes bankrupt so that the domain expires and returns to the public for repurchase soon?

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

Why Are You Still Single? test

Don't Want To Slow Down

Whether you're working all hours, busy with school, or planning a cross-country move, it sounds like you just don't have time for anyone else in your life...right now, that is. Your timing may be off in other aspects, too. Chances are, you've met that perfect person who just so happens to be married or planning their own cross-country move. So take a step back for a moment. Is there something underlying this? Could it be you're afraid to get involved for some reason or another, and are therefore attracted to people who are simply unavailable?

Whether you're secretly sabotaging yourself or not, try a little exercise. Open your mind to those who are around you (and available!) right now. Then let up on your schedule to let that someone in. That is, unless you want to get married to your goals, and not Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Hitting the road in an RV could be just the way for you and your troupe to take it all in.


I'll just direct anyone who asks me this question here the next time they ask. :)
What's your excuse?

True talent test

Your true talent is spatial ability

Your ability to visualize objects in three-dimensional space gives you a unique view of the world. Because of this talent, you are much better than most people at imagining new designs including floor plans, page layouts, and three dimensional objects.

How do we know that's your true talent? While you were taking the test, we calculated your responses to each test question and rated your skills in 5 areas. You scored highest on spatial ability.

People like you are usually great when it comes to putting together assemble-it-yourself furniture or other household items — whether the items arrive with instructions or not. Your spatial skills also help you understand the finer points of how things work.

... what's your talent?

Thursday, June 17, 2004

So so lost

Man! Me trying to sight sing is almost as bad as me trying to sight play. My sight reading is really really REALLY bad! Non-existant even! Therefore, was tremendously lost during rehearsal.

Trying to get notes from [medication-girl] who's trying to get notes from me was .... how do I put this? ... a bad idea. I tried to listen to what she was singing and she's listening for me. So, it's the both of us listening to each other with neither of us knowing what we're suppose to sing while [food-critic] was way too far from us to be of any help. I wanted to laugh but it would have been inappropriate. Then we have [coloratura-wannabe] not being able to shut up when we're trying to get our parts. Urgh!

*sigh* Will need to go and *plonk* my part out tonight in preparation for tomorrow's rehearsal. Hope we'll spend some time on it tonight. There's another jamming session at [bubbly-momma]'s tonight. Yay! Fun!

Monday, June 14, 2004

stateside proxy

*sigh* I need a proxy in the States man! All the amazing freebies are for valid resident of the U.S. I need someone in the States that I can used their address for shipping and when they receive the freebie, will ship it to me. Wonder if such kind souls exist?

Look at this freebie. Wouldn't you like one of these babies for naught?

Tickle's Original Inkblot Test

[Y]our subconscious mind is driven most by Curiosity

This means you are full of questions about life, people, and the potential of your future. You spend more time than others envisioning the possibilities of your life — things that others are too afraid to consider.

Your curiosity burns with an almost physical need to know and do more. It's only through new experiences that you feel a greater understanding of yourself or the world — which ultimately is the greatest way for you to feel satisfied.

It is possible that the underlying reason for your drive towards curiosity is a deeply rooted fear of boredom. That means that you are probably more susceptible than others to feel like you're falling into a rut when life slows down into a comfortable routine.

You need to make sure you have stimulation in your life — that makes you feel like you're innovating or being exposed to the ideas and experiences that truly inspire you.

With such a strong orientation towards curiosity, you're also prone to a rebellious quality that shows up when you feel you are just going through the motions, and are unable to really influence the world around you. But interestingly enough, your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don't have, but wish they did.

Unconsciously, your curiosity presses you to learn more, experience more, and get the most out of life.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Curiosity, there is much more to who you are at your core.

empress's note: Quite accurate I think. Which makes it a little scary, don't you think? I believe the curiosity about everything is correct but then, isn't everyone curious about things? No? Also, the boredom bit is absolutely true. I'd go mad if I get bored. Why else do you think I immerse myself in so much activities? Too much sometimes. Heh heh ... but it's all in good fun!

Not sure about the part about "..your drive towards novel experiences also indicates an openness others don't have, but wish they did". Didn't think I'm all that open to novel experiences. Neither do I think that other are envious of my openness

Friday, June 11, 2004

From an employee's point of view

... or in other words, the idiot's most recent blunder?

I am of the opinion that if your subordinates performs badly, it reflects badly upon you as the manager/supervisor.

Now correct me if I'm wrong but as a manager, isn't it your responsibility to make sure that your subordinates do well? That they are performing well and also that they are consistently working efficiently as well a happily under your care?

And if they are performing below par? Who is to blame? Them or you?

Recently, I was arranged to attend a meeting with a potential client for a project. Besides myself, one of our business development guys (BD) and the idiot (PM) were to be in attendance as well. The meeting was set at 3pm. I left at 2.30pm as the previous trip to that client's office was approximately a 30 minutes ride. The other two left earlier to attend to some other matter; unrelated to this client.

So, there's three cars heading towards the city for the same meeting. BD arrived first. Followed by PM. Me? I got stuck in traffic. Bad selection of route since I'm not familiar with downtown traffic at that hour. At the appointed time, I was still stuck in traffic with and estimated ETA of 20 minutes? However, since I was going to be late and the 'important' people are already at the meeting, I SMSed them to go ahead with the meeting and not to waste time.

I arrived an hour later at 4pm, apologizing profusely about my lateness citing bad traffic and having chosen the wrong route. We went on with the meeting. The client and BD cotinued their discussion and I intermittedly interrupted which my concerns. PM just sat there.

An hour later, having concluded the meeting, while the three of us was waiting for the lift to arrive, I apologised again for being late citing the same reasons. Then we left in our separate cars.

The next day, sometime after lunch, I receive and email from PM, requesting an explanation for my being late for the meeting. He further wrote that he has noticed that this was not the first time that I have been late to a client meeting and HR has record of my lateness as well. This email was CC-ed to the HR Manager and his superior.

Now ... I find this baffling. Is verbal explanation to your superior not enough? Was my explanation on-site insufficient? Are further written evidence of 'misconduct' necessary? Lastly, why is there a need to inform others in the company? If he has a bone to pick with me regarding the matter, shouldn't he talk to me first?

Maybe this is why he's the manager and I'm the subordinate.

I did not understand that Managers are suppose to tattle about every one of their subordinate's misdemeanors.
I did not understand that Managers are time keepers of their subordinates. Keeping a record of what time they arrive in the mornings, goes out and comes back from lunch and goes home.
I did not understand that Managers do not have to confront with their subordinate's when they have a problem with them. That is the HR Manager's task. [ I must really keep this one in mind. ]
I did not understand that Managers are not responsible for their subordinates not being able to make deadlines. It's the subordinate's responsibility. Theirs and theirs alone.

What's your take on this?

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

post dated rant < continued >

... alright then, continuation of previous rant.

Right, where was I?

Oh yes! The recorded lecturing and the unfairness of it all. The little ditty sang by the grasshopper seems to come to mind at the moment. Y'know the one that goes 'Oh! The world owes me a living. Ta di da di, ta di da di da.'

Anyway, what I wanted to say, from all that ranting was this. I think I need to live for my own. That is, to do things that I want to do and not to always live for the future. If you're consistently doing things for the unknown future, you don't live in the now. You don't enjoy the now. You just work, work and work FOR the future. What if the future never comes? What then? What would you say your life have been like? You wouldn't have lived it yet cause you were planning on 'living' in the future. Well, then it's too bad isn't it? You've missed your chance. Now it's too late. What good is the future to you then, huh?

If I do not live for myself now? When else would I have the chance? I don't have a family to support (not referring to my parents, my family as in my husband and kids, if any), not currently attached to anyone in anyway, so this would be the best time for me to experience life wouldn't it? Options tends to get limitted once the ball and chain gets into the picture.

*sigh* If I really do decide to be selfish, would they really 'disown' me? I don't think so but I think they'd be really angry and would harp about my selfish decision for the rest of my life. On the other hand, I would always kick myself on always listening to my parents and not standing up for things that I want to do. Spineless person, me! Ugh! I need to learn to stand up for myself and not care about doing things that my parents don't like soon! I mean soon! C'mon girlie! You're no spring chicken no more! Can't always kow-tow to them! Urgh! I hate weak me!

Alright, back to the original matter that caused all this. The transfer.

I've rejected the offer. Somehow, I just can't imagine myself there. At backwater somewhere. I would be so bored that I could probably actually start reading the programming books that I've bought but haven't had the time to explore. Might actually be surfing the net for information that would actually teach me more about things that I need to know for my job. In other words, I could actually turn into a geek. Which is a good thing, sorta. I'm a geek wannabe who's too lazy to actually study the stuff that I need to actually become a geek. So, I could actually turn out to be the type of people I listen whenever they speak cause they actually know what they're talking about. But I did not want to sacrifice my social life. I like my all my friends and the activities that we do to much to become a bona fide geek. The trade-off just isn't worth it, I think.

So, I've rejected the offer and the HR Manager asked if I'd be open to other types of jobs, jobs that are not IT related ... in other words, jobs that I'm not qualified for lah! I said sure to keep my options open.

She found me an opening within a few hours. Another sister company. In sales. I hate sales! but I didn't tell her that. Just went and met with one of the Managers of that company which is housed within our main office. Don't think I made a good impression as I kept saying that I've never done sales and what I've been doing so far has always been development.

I don't know what's going on with that option as the HR Manager left for surgery the next day and will be away for a whole month. I will reject that offer as well should they decide to offer me the position.

As they seem so desperate to get me out of my current company, I would not be surprised if they decide to fire me in the end. I am after all ... excess personnel.

I will gladly leave. I'll have a reason to bum around.

... at least as long as the money holds up.

Monday, May 31, 2004

the past week ... ok more than a week { just ranting }

What has happened? Well, nothing really but something almost did and that something might still happen if a certain someone did not have to take a month's long time off.

I have said time and again that if I ever lost this job, I wouldn't really care cause I don't like it anyway. It's not that I don't like coding anymore so much as I hate my PM's guts; which the whole office, I'm sure, knows about. Plainly put, I think he's an idiot, a childish I-think-he-only-got-this-job-cause-of-his-connections idiot. The type where you go to him with a problem (this happened when he was still new and we didn't know what an idiot he was!) and he arranged to meet with the GM to discuss about it without even trying to solve to problem or give advice as to how I might go about it. AND in which during the said meeting, he sat there stirring a glass of quakers like a kid. But I digress ... I don't want to talk about the idiot.

I want to talk about me being possibly either retrenched or sacked.

HR Manager called me into her office to tell me that there's a position open in one of our sister companies and the company has identified me for the position. The position is good. Profit making company with mucho bonuses anticipated, no raise or hike in salary though, just sort of an internal transfer. Catch is, it's way down south. In another state. A state with two or three states in between MY state and that state. Ergo, far away. They'd pay for relocation, reimburse for when you go down to search out a place to live and for the trip back, the moving van ... yadda yadda yadda.

When do I have to begin? As soon as I say yes and all the paper work's done, which means within a week or two.

How much time do I have to think about it? Three days. "Less if possible cause I'm going for an operation on Friday", said the HR Manager. Side note: News came in Monday evening.

She then went on to hint that the company's about to go on a downsizing exercise soon.

Hmmm ... dodgy. Was she hinting that I'm about to be downsized and that I should take the offer if I still want to have a job?

Did I have any questions? I was never very good at thinking on the spot. I couldn't think of any at that moment. Needless to say, I'd probably think of some while walking back to my building or when driving back home but while I was sitting there, I couldn't think of any except ... "It's finally happened. They want to get rid of me."

I'd always thought that I would welcome this. That when they ask me to me, I'd be happy about it cause they made the decision for me. I'd been wanting to leave the company for two years but have been a) too lazy to apply for new positions and b) I really hate interviews (which kinda contributes to the a factor!). But when it actually happened, it's sort of scary.

First of all, I didn't want to move to that backwater that they're offering me so, was already anticipating the sacking or rather the VSS (Voluntary Seperation Scheme) when the downsizing exercise actually happens. I'm a cosmo girl. I need the cosmopolitan city and lifestyle; although I'm hardly a fixture in the city, living near the city, you still interact with city folks anyway.

I am prepared to bum around for a few month. In fact, I am wishing that I might be able to bum around for awhile. Maybe do some mindless job like serving coffee at one of those trendy cafes or a temp staff for events or something. But what I really wanted to do was to get a Working Holiday Visa to the UK. Then I can do those mindless jobs while in the UK and at the same time, visit the country.

Told my parents about the offer and how I do not feel like taking up the offer which might mean that I'll be out of a job soon and asked if they minded that I don't work for awhile. They thought that it was fine and told me that I should probably start looking for a job now.

I didn't dare tell them about what I really wanted to do when I'm out of a job yet but I did eventually. As predicted, I received the infamous lecture on "money wasting". The WHV wouldn't really help in accumulating money, in fact it would be the opposite. Yes. I do realise that, what's your point, mom? Then the usual flow of "we're not a rich family", "your sisters are still studying", "we need your monthly contribution - which isn't really much anyway - since we're retired and your dad's freelance jobs doesn't really bring in much" {bah!}, "you should save up for your future" ... etc etc etc. Everything that I have heard about over and over and over ... and over again. Nothing out of the usual. It was when I said that it is something that I want to do, that I have wanted to do for a long time, something that I can still do while I'm young, while I'm still relatively free of responsibility, unattached; that the unexpected happened. I never expected the "you are just like your brother. Never thinking of the family. Just wanting to do what pleases yourself while the rest of the family struggles."

Oh man! That really got to me. If I really did not think about the family, I would have been long gone. It is because that I still care what they think of me that I'm still around. That I do care that they still think of me as a daughter. That I do care that my sister still gets an education that I'm still around. That they would not starve to death without my measly monthly contribution (which they won't) - that I'm still around. I know that they have a hard time with controlling my brother and younger sister who are quite rebellious and does things that they (my parent) don't think is good for them (my rebellious sibs). Which is why when there's something that I want to do and they don't really like it, I'd try not to do it. Nothing major just small stuff like buying unnecessary things or going on a small holiday.

So, for them or rather mom to say that me wanting to do the WHV is selfish of me is quite unfair. Oh yes, she also said that I shouldn't be to westernised to want to do these things. If I am too westernised, which I probably am but not overly so, I can't help it. I've been brought up with American TV and movies, in a modernised city (modern being high rises and buildings looking much like some city in a western country), western influence left, right and center. What was I suppose to do? Ignore it? And if I was suppose to, I was never told.

... { intermission }

You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative,
artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize
a single muscle group in order to have fun.
Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

comment system change

After some testing with Blogger's new comment system. I have decided to ditch it. It was just too much hassle just to post a comment up. You'd have to sort of login in order to have you post as an actual blogger member, which will allow your name to be associated with your profile link. People without a blogger account can still post but as anonymous. I'd have a lot of (more than 1 = a lot lah!) anonymous posters then!

I like knowing who've posted. Even if you use a pseudonym. I don't care. As long as there's a certain identifier which says you're a being in this blue green planet of ours. I also like it when said beings leave a link or an email address. So that I can discover new blogs, something which I'm to lazy to go in search of.

Therefore, I'm ditching Blogger's comment system and am now on haloscan. Why didn't I go back to yaccs? I don't know. I've been using it for so long and I am quite used to the interface but somehow, everytime I comment on someone else's blog and they use haloscan, I want one of those as well.

So I checked out haloscan. They have a nice management interface. The add-in codes are also cleaner and simpler. Also, I've noticed that the page seems to load a little faster with haloscan. No thorough testing yet. Maybe in a few days I'll decide haloscan sucks and might go back to yaccs? Or maybe that application to a free webhosting site will finally come through and I can move to that version of MT with unlimitted blogs and authors. Hmmm ... maybe I should go pester that webhost.

Monday, May 17, 2004

transfer or possible retrenchment

This just in.
I've been offered transfer to a sister company. Basically doing the same thing I suppose but can't be sure until I call the EDP Manager of that company regarding the job scope. Problem is ... the position's in Johor. More precisely in Pasir Gudang!

My HR manager tells me that this is a good opportunity for me seeing that I've been in the company for awhile now (4 years!) and besides that, the company's in the red at the moment and is considering downsizing soon. Think she's telling me that cause maybe I'm in the list to be downsized? I think so.

Not being paranoid or anything but I don't get along with my PM and everyone knows it. I don't try and conceal that fact at anytime. Have even told my GM about a possibility of transfer when I found out that it's quite impossible for me to work with my idiot PM but GM told me to just try. And I did. That was over a year and a half ago. So, I don't think my being in the list will be any surprise to anyone even myself. Kinda expect it too but would rather not BE in the list. Y'know?

Anyway, much as I like the opportunity to live outside the family in a place far far away, I don't think Pasir Gudang is what I had in mind. Was hoping for a more cosmopolitan area actually. So, anyone desperate for a personnel? I think I'm going to be out of work soon. I'll gladly mail you my CV. Just leave me your email or email me! Or just tell me if I should or shouldn't take the transfer!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Error with new blogger features

I got a 553 Permission denied when I was trying to republish this blog after adding the new tags to enable Blogger's new comments feature. Man! What a failure that turned out to be. I wonder what I missed out? I've turned on the Post Pages like I was suppose to. I've turned on and placed in the new tags for comments. Pressed "Re-publish site" and voila! ERROR!

Monday, May 10, 2004

holiday and new blogger

Wow! Blogger's got a spanking new look. Not only that, it's got tons of features now as well. Comments. Individual post pages. Email-to-blog. Tres tres cool stuff. Will have to check out how to turn all those features on when I get home later tonight, or maybe tomorrow ... wait! have a meeting tomorrow. Weds then ... er, probable movie watching or gym going with the free session from F1st. Er ... Thurs after Merry Widow's rehearsal? Oh! Whatever ... hopefully sometime this week then!

Anyway, five days with no computer interaction was much fun. Went to Kuching, Sarawak over the long holiday. Quite an el cheapo holiday considering that we snapped up the cheap AA tickets months before and stayed at Jen's aunt's place most of the time save for the overnight at Bako. Although Jen made a whole itinerary of what we're to do when we're there, all plans were trashed when 'Grandma' needed to go home a day earlier and it was suddenly decided that we're no longer going to Jen's place in Sibu. I don't know why the Sibu plan was cancelled. It just was. Hmmm ... maybe I should have asked but then I was thinking "Whoa! That's a lot to do on a holiday!" when I saw her itinerary. One thing less to do is fine with me!

Highlight of the trip would be the boat ride to Bako National Park. All seven of us and the boatman in a motorised sampan heading towards open sea! I can now say that I've been to the South China Sea! The actual sea itself. Not flying over it. Not looking at it in a map. Not through a telescope from afar. I was actually on/in the sea. I touched the water. Felt the seabreeze. Saw a fish jump out of the water and back in.

Besides Bako, mostly we did lots and lots and lots of walking in town (of which by the evening I felt like chopping of my ankles cause they felt so sore and I couldn't possibly walk another step). Mostly in the same place. ... Ok. It's the Riverwalk. Seems to be the ONLY place in town. Tons of souvenir shops there so it was almost like my London experience of going in and out of shops. They have so many cool stuff. Mostly decorative items which made me think "awww ... that's so nice. Too bad I don't have a house to decorate it with." I did ask to go back to the shops on the last day though, quite out of character of me, to go get some placement mats that I thought would make a great gift. They're really nice. Quite plain but nice.

Went to the Cultural Village which costed a bomb at RM45! Quite enjoyable trip that was though I still think that was quite exhorbitant for entry. We got to see some long houses - Iban, Ulu er ... I forget. Will have to refer to my cultural village 'passport' to check what long houses I've seen. The whole village could do with more orang aslis and signage everywhere. Not enough to give any real information about anything except what long house you're in.

Also went to the museum with intention to find out why the heck the Sultan of Brunei gave the whole big land of Sarawak to some gwai lo and only kept little Brunei to himself. Sadly, that exhibit is in storage. The museum's under new management and erm ... I don't know the reason why they want to keep the exhibit. :P

Monday, April 26, 2004

can't make it out

Man! I've read this thing several times and I still can't figure out if I can reuse the codes of an existing GPL 'protected' software.

There are several classes from the phpBB codes that I'd like to reuse but I'm not sure if I'm allowed to. If I had interpreted the GPL correctly, I am allowed to change a GPL licensed software anyway I like so long as I redistribute my application under the GPL as well? Hmmm ... but I don't want to use the entire software. Just some of the generic classes that I see can be reused in my own program. If I were to write those classes again? I would just be reproducing the same functions and what would the point of that be? Why not just reuse an existing code?

But then, if I were building it for my own purpose, I wouldn't mind redistributing everything under the GPL. I'm actually thinking of using it at work.

Has anyone read the GPL? Will someone who has please explain to me if I can use some of the classes and still not have to have the resulting program placed under the GPL cause I don't think the company would be too pleased with redistributing our applications to 'freely' to the general public.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

one gig worth!

Woo hoo! I never have to delete mails ever again! I'm Gmailed!

It's amazing cause I was just reading about privacy issues with Gmail in today's In-Tech insert. My thoughts on the issue is that, well if they want to scan my mails, that's fine with me, I don't have such incredibly secretive conversations with g-men that the Google people can't read about. Actually, I don't write emails to any g-men. Don't know any g-men. Hence, go ahead read my mails if you want, although why you'd like to bore yourself to tears if quite beyond me. Have fun!

However, those suing do bring out an interesting point though, although I have agreed to have my mails read, my friends, family, fans, enemies have not but their mails will be scanned as well so long as the mail them to me. Which, probably isn't fair for them. Then again, nothing coming to me is overly sensitive to any nation except my own nation in my head. Still .... not fair for them.

Ah well, we'll just see how the whole thing goes. I will have to reread the article to find out why the actually want to scan the mails in the first place.
When I can find that paper.
Darn colleague flitched it from me while I was talking to another colleague. Damn idiot says I wasn't reading it anyway!

Hello! The paper was open! I was talking for a sec! Doesn't mean I'm not going to continue! Dumbass!

Friday, April 16, 2004

not quite a star

Well, I'm finally going to be in a movie.
Not only is it going to be a movie? It's going to be a musical as well. Think Moulin Rouge ... savvy?

I'm not the lead, I'm just one of the three girls that makes up the lead's posse. In actual fact, they're still looking for the two female leads. Requirements for those leads are that they'd be able to pass off as sisters and the younger sister will need to be believeable as a drop dead gorgeous girl that all guys will literally stop whatever they're doing just to stare as she walks by.

I have a general idea of what the story is but I have not had the chance to get a copy of the script yet. I think I've read half of it last night, or at least a third of it. What came to mind when I read it?
Think Clueless.
Think 10 things I hate about you.
Think Grease.

So, the past week, I've been going over to NiA's place. They gave me a makeover for the character that I'm suppose to be. I think they went a tad too heavy on the blusher. I looked like a weird chinese doll and no matter what, I still don't think that blue eye shadow's for me. Next time I'm just going to ask for a natural palatte. Browns baby! Give me browns! Au naturale! Oui? They've sorted out most of my wardrobe, most of my stuff that I brought was quite ok but shoes are still missing. They'll have to go hunt for them. I'm not about to go buy some slipper/sandals/shoes which I'm not ever going to wear, likely ever again, just for this movie. Doesn't help that my shoe closet is close to empty if I took out all my dance shoes. I have more dance shoes that everyday shoes! *sigh* miss miss miss all those practises for competitions!

Other than that, I've learnt the main song but that's basically it. Don't think the non-production ie. the actors have been very productive so far. I haven't even gotten my script. The guys have done some scenes but the girls really have to wait till the get the leads. So I've just been sitting around, watching and waiting.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

How's about a Pro standard guy for a partner?

I got this email as a result from an ad I'd posted in search of a dance partner.

Hi there, pleasure to meet you.

"I will definitely be in New York end of April beginning of May for try-outs."

My name is Ryno. I am responding to your ad about the dancing. You are looking for a male dancer. I must say that I do like your ad and it's nice to see that you love your latin dancing as much as I do. I am very interested in having a try out with you. It would be nice to perhaps meet with you.

Basically I am a Professional Latin American Dancer who lives in South Africa and I am currently the undefeated Pro Latin Show Dance Champion. I do need to stress this however, a try out costs nothing and there is nothing
so beautiful than 2 people dancing excellent together, but you know what, there is nothing that frustrates me more than dancers who "think" they are committed, dedicated or even disciplined but meantime they have no direction. There are many out there. It sounds like you know what you want and wants to get somewhere. I love that. I am extremely serious about my dancing and would not want to waste your time if we are not on the same wavelength.

I consider myself as a fun, passionate, warm and hard working person with a funny sense of humour.

Just a brief report on my dancing:
I represented South Africa in 2 World Pro Latin Championships, was selected as representative on 3 occasions for the World Show Dance Championships, came 14th in the 2001 World Show Dance in Miami, came 8th (semi-final) in the 2002 London Open Championships, best result in Blackpool Open Pro (32nd) 24th German Open, I am based in SA and compete internationally on a regular basis as I have a very supportive and loyal sponsor. My basis internationally is the Semly Studio in Norbury-London and my coaches have been so far Richard Porter, Barbara McCall, Denise Weavers, Pam McGill and Allan Fletcher. I train with the best in South Africa like Dave Campbell and Lillian Dooley. I weigh 78kg, my height is 1.82 and I am blonde and in a very very good athletic shape.

The only problem is that I cannot relocate because I run a fulltime dance studio so therefore I can offer accommodation and teaching to who thinks she is the right one. I am basically looking for a girl who can relocate but wants to dance competitions and shows.

I will send a photo to those who respond. My tel no is #######. E-mail address is: xxx@xxx.com or

Whoa! I'm still heady from reading that. Didn't expect a pro to answer to my ad. Actually, wasn't really expecting any replies since I did post it in an international forum ie. you won't see too many Malaysians hanging around.

Still, why in the world would an established pro be doing replying to my ad? I did specify my standard of dancing (Intermediate ie. nowhere near pro) as well as my height 1.53m. Someone who's 1.82m shouldn't be replying to someone so vastly shorter than him should he?

If I had lived in NY, would I have replied with an affirmative and try out for it? Probably not. Wouldn't want to waste his time plus I'd be overly intimidated. He's a freaking Pro for gadsakes!

Saturday, March 27, 2004


From Googlism:

callista is a supported software application
callista is not a panacea for all issues facing the oar and uws
callista is the name of monash university student information system
callista is on the move however
callista is an oracle based software solution that services universities? student administration needs
callista is first introduced
callista is a dampiel
callista is a little of a mystery
callista is determined to sacrifice a life
callista is left to face zad
callista is a functionally and graphically rich student information system designed to meet the needs of institutions operating in the tertiary environment
callista is not simply about student records
callista is now in summer coat and this can be interesting as it is much easier to assess the type visually without hands on
callista is determined not to wed the despicable fowler but fears that by refusing him her father?s political future will be jeopardized
callista is by far an odd individual
callista is australia's leading higher education software developer
callista is
callista is the name of qut's new student information system
callista is not intended to be the primary source of information relating to a student?s research candidature details outside of a normal
callista is mortally wounded as she attempts to shut down the automatic
callista is really wet
callista is similar to the acol time
callista is by far the more comprehensive student system i've worked on yet
callista is a two bedroom house which comfortably sleeps six people and is within very easy walking distance of the town center
callista is the source for syntellect products in canada
callista is their
callista is a character belonging to my friend laurie
callista is fanart from the show swat kats
callista is a rule driven system and as such if a school decides that prerequisites are a mandatory requirement of the course progression
callista is the name of the university of canberra?s new student information system
callista is a really stupid person
callista is in this story
callista is a calendar driven system that accommodates virtually any course or student schedule
callista is a trademark of deakin software services
callista is an arresting picture
callista is very well
callista is 12 and she lives half the week with her other mom
callista is proud of its progress in recent months
callista is a very affectionate senior who deserves a good home with people who will love her and never "toss" her out again
callista is now set to dominate the world
callista is a fully integrated student information system with a flexible architecture that has the power to handle the changing needs of higher education
callista is a 999
callista is nothing more than your typical "eastern girl
callista is spanish and means
callista is an opportunity to embrace a new age modern lifestyle
callista is designed with the theme of sophistication within simplicity
callista is a "local supplier with a strong reputation and willingness to invest in the development of high
callista is made of mohair and fully jointed
callista is teasing soryn as usual
callista is especially happy
callista is one of the fairies you might have seen flitting about through the flowers
callista is needed as keeper
callista is 42? of open
callista is on the scene
callista is a beauty unknown to most
callista is dead
callista is…was more powerful than i suppose the apprentice was
callista is the highest priority at the moment
callista is capable of managing multiple concurrent teaching periods via a
callista is made from
callista is sucking on a lollypop
callista is obsessed with star wars and rides her bike every where and is fun too hang out with and says "oh my
callista is a direct cutover
callista is unknown
callista is a human bard
callista is 4'8" tall and weighs 85 lbs
callista is already record hotmail type address for some new students and this unannounced change has cause big problems with the scripts
callista is back; nimrod is back and scully ends up really pissed off at mulder
callista is an albino female born around 1 sep 98
callista is greek for "most beautiful"
callista is a jedi in the fullest sense
callista is trying to find a way out of the marriage her father has arranged with lt
callista is the student record system; concept is the hr system
callista is about a non
callista is © christina godek and not you
callista is now alive again and free to love luke skywalker
callista is a
callista is within the computer of the dreadnaught as a result of giving her life to stop the ship once before
callista is in her second year here at ibc
callista is a registered trademark of the callista group limited copyright © 2000 the callista group limited
callista is a slut; mamoru
callista is the typical
callista is dying
callista is a jedi padawan who comes to us from the force academy
callista is in prison on the charge of christianity; i was in a sort of prison myself
callista is smiling a sickly sweet smile>
callista is currently being reviewed
callista is a fictional character in the star wars universe
callista is some wizard on sw2

Thursday, March 25, 2004

the exhibitionist

Last Friday, yes the same Friday of the accident, I got an email from Shafina of dailyMalaysia.org asked me if I would like to do this week's installment of the dailyMalaysia project. Said yes naturally since the project is based on volunteers who've submitted a request to be included in the project. My request was submitted weeks ago. Actually, it was submitted almost as soon as I found out about the project which was two to three weeks into the project.

Anyway, this time, there's also this mini-exhibition that's going to go on at the end of this week and Shafina said that my entries will be included if I agree to do this week's dailyMalaysia.org. Hmmm ... me thought "... but my stuff is not good enough for exhibition." And then I thought again, " ... but this exhibition is about the dailyMalaysia project ie. of photos by everyday people." So I thought, "what the heck. Just do it!"

So, Shafina's gonna make one postcard each of 3 entries from her weekly contributors, place them up with a note card and visitors can take whichever postcard they like but will have to write down why they took the postcard.

Hmmm ... so when I go to the event, will my postcards still be there? Will my pictures be the only ones left untaken? I think I will feel a sense of dissappointment if they weren't. I know they're crap but still. Y'know?

I'll head for the event after the opera viewing. Peter's having a showing of Baz Luhrman's version of La Boheme at his studio. That should be interesting; the movie I meant, not the gathering at Peter's. Email Janet if she wanted to go with me but nothing from her yet. Why Janet? Cause she's a picture taking madwoman as well. :P Anyone else wanna go with me?

Oh yeah, Z, hope you don't mind me using your daughter's picture! I'll give you royalties when I get famous. ;)

Monday, March 22, 2004

Bad driver

I had an accident while driving home from work on Friday.
Don't want to talk about it.
They say it's my fault and wrote me a fine.
I say it's the bad road signs. They laughed!
My car's out of commission for awhile. Back to old trusty benjy for the duration.
'nuff said.

When you see me on the road, just get off it or stop if you don't want anything to happen to your car.
I don't want to be at fault again!

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Searching for a partner

Couples going through their steps. Recalling, practising, perfecting their routine. The cha cha music playing is not always significant to them as they go through their steps. Some doing the cha cha, some doing the samba and even some doing the waltz. All this while the cha cha music plays on. Not everyone is practising for a competition. Some just going through steps they've just learnt in class but as I sat there watching, a wave of sadness floated in.

Sad that I'm not one of them.
Sad that I don't have a routine to perfect.
Sad that I do not have a partner to practise with.
Sad that I'm not part of a competitive couple anymore.

I miss it.

My search for a new partner have been extremely unfruitful. My occasional request to my teacher for a partner also zip as he does not have any male students who are interested. Male dance partners are a rare breed. I did receive a phone call last year from a guy called Hudson who was also looking for a partner; think I got him through POng though I'm not 100% sure. Met up with him for a chat and that was as far as it went. I am not sure if he ever found a partner but it shouldn't be as difficult for a guy with the abundance of girls like me on the lookout. Next potential came from a posting I made in a Singaporean dance site. That came to nothing as well as his partner, whom he thought was going to stay in the UK for awhile, came back. So, he's practising with his partner now.

So, I've begun my search anew. Except through postings at websites, I don't know how else I am suppose to be going about this. I have been assured by a teacher at a rival group of schools that if I went to his place, I will have a partner as he has some students who are on the lookout. Will I have to change camp now, just so I'll have a partner? This other school, when they have their competitions, they're mostly out of state. The main reason that I have not jumped at the chance.

*sigh* Where are all the male latin dancers?

Paging for male latin dancers. One female latin dancer on the lookout for potential partner for competitions. Email me if you are out there!

Friday, March 12, 2004

Dinosaur extinction: A hoax!

Seems that more and more dinosaurs are being discovered to be alive and running/walking among us and not fossiled on rocks. Latest reported sighting is of a dog headed, croc tailed, three meters tall ancient. The report's kinda dubious though, not in the sense that it was in some tabloid or those sensationalised media, it was on The Age, a widely read Australian newspaper, but cause they said they found no trace of the creature.

How's that possible? A three feet tall animal with croc like tail not leaving a trace? Is the animal weightless? Was it sighted on tarred roads and was so light that it did not leave any trace of tail marks or footprints? That is simply amazing!

Tuesday, March 09, 2004


LOL ... SY would love to have this result.

Queen of Gossip

Remember [in the movie You've Got Mail] the time Meg Ryan's character, Kathleen, finally managed a retort to whatever Tom Hank's character, Joe, was saying while she was waiting to meet her email pen-pal at the restaurant? Remember how she felt after that? Thrilled at having been able to finally done it but then really disturbed at going against her ooey-gooey nice personality and be mean to someone?

Well, I'm kinda having that feeling but nothing as major as how she felt, I suspect. Just a really mild case.

I told someone (lets call him K), someone that I don't really know, well actually, I've only met that someone once, about something I've heard about a 'friend' of mine. I call him my 'friend' (let's call him G) but I'm not entirely sure how to categorise him as we don't actually hang out or anything but we do belong to the same club.

That something which I told K was that I heard that G is an absolute unfaithfull asshole of a boyfriend. How did I come about that information? From G's ex-girlfriend (she's L) who's also a friend of mine, who G told her while they were going out that I was a bitch and wouldn't advise her to befriend me when she told her she thought I was cool. This was at a time when I thought G and I was on friendly terms. That mother-fucking backstabber!

Why would I tell K about G? Because G is now dating C who's a colleague of K. I thought that if it's true that G is the mother-fucking-asshole that he is, then C should have a heads up on it. Also, from my observations of G and from what L told me and from how some of his 'best friends' have turned away from him, those kinda present a strong case against G. I deduction might be wrong and L might have just been a vengeful ex and therefore, for me to believe her would make me a bad friend. Added to that, for me to spread the information to K whom I don't even know that well, makes me doubly bad.

G called me the other day to confirm if I did tell K about him and I said yes. I see no reason to deny something when it's a fact -- unless it's for a punishable crime, of which I would then deny all claims! He accussedsaid that I was not being fair as I never did ask for his side of the story and my conclusions were all made from L's point of view. I told him that yes I was but then it was not just from what L told me, it was also from what I've observed and the actions of others who were his friends. He went on trying to trying to justify himself while intermittedly sprinkling "I'm not trying to justify myself" in between sentences.

The whole phone conversation was terribly awkard. I'm not used to these issues. I try to steer clear of these things usually. I don't have experience to deal with issues such as these. My side of the conversation was pretty quiet after my explaining to him why I did what I did and also to explain to him why L have cut loose of any contact with him. I mean, what else am I to say? I've already explained myself, there's nothing more to be said. So silence was my only option. I wanted several time to say "sorry but there's nothing else that I want to say to you. Goodbye." and put down the phone but that seems a bit rude cause he was still trying not to justify himself, so I didn't. When he stopped, I was still silent. He was silent. Was there a polite way to end this conversation? Very awkard.

I don't know where I'm going with this.

He asked me if I thought what I did was right. I said yes.
I said yes then but after I hung up, I started to doubt myself.
I began to think it was unfair of me to tell K about G. What concern of mine was this matter? None.
It was bad of me to turn/backstab my friend this way.
It was shit of me to be such a hypocrite. To dislike people who stabs people on their back and then turn around and be the one who's doing the backstabbing.

People, I'm basically a sucky person. Why I still have friends is a wonder to me.

To all my friends, thanks for still being my friend. If I ever backstab you, I'm sorry.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Friday, February 27, 2004

Quizilla gila

You are Agent Smith-
You are Agent Smith, from "The Matrix."
No one would ever want to run into you in a
dark alley. Cold as steel, tough as a rock,
things are your way or the highway.

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Woo hoo! Cool! Cool! Love Hugo Weaving!

Drive safe

Driving in 7am traffic this morning, I noticed something interesting about on of my fellow driver. She was driving beside me and I wouldn't even have noticed her had she not overtook me by force -- by that I meant coming into my lane and squeezing me further towards the other lane until I have no option but to let her overtake me. When I looked at the driver wondering what the hell he/she (at that time I have not taken note ofthe gender of the idiot driver) I noticed something in her hand. It was her right hand and it was on the
wheel; and in this hand, intertwined within her palm, I think I saw a rosary (does rosary refer to a single bead or the whole chain? I was referring to the chain anyway).

Yeap! Rosary beads.

Y'know, the ones the catholics holds and prays with? To keep track of the number of Hail Mary's left they'd have to say/pray in the attempt to atone for some sin or other?

Now ... why would she need the security/comfort of rosary beads while driving? It's true that traffic has always been bad along the Federal Highway -- even at seven in the morning -- but do we really need the protection of God for this little feat in which we have to overcome five days a week, twice a day (at least), for the entirety of our working days? Do we really need divine intervention for this our daily task?

I wonder if we just stuck to the lanes that we're suppose to and not squeeze in and out from one lane to the other in the attempt to get to our destination faster, would the traffic be any better? Would the roads be safer? Would the traffic report for the Federal actually read smooth instead of slow but moving, bumper to bumper or worse, at a standstill?

Maybe then that she would not have needed the rosaries while driving. Maybe then I would not feel the need to switch lanes and further worsen the traffic condition. Maybe it was not even some rosaries but just some beaded chain?

Maybe. Maybe. But I was still intrigued by the rosaries in the hand.

Monday, February 16, 2004

The idiocy continues ...

Feb 16, 4.45pm - Called up En. Hadi to check on status. Turns out En. Hadi is also one of the idiots. Said he will try and help when I pay the amount. People at Standard Chartered are such confused souls. Why would I still need their help if I would willingly pay for things that I did not charge and why would they willingly decide on my favour after I have paid and give me back my money? That's so warped! I was so furious I even said "It's not my fault if your people fucked up and I was not told the correct procedure. Why should I be penalised?" Yes, I said fuck to the guy.
I know probably shouldn't swear at them but that's how I've been thinking about Std Chart whenever the fuck up another call.
I think that's the most proper word for it. Other words just do not seem to serve.

'Fuck up' should be a totally legit and proper phrase and not a swear phrase.
It expresses the speaker utter frustration and anger at the moment and therefore should not be mistakenly categorised as a swear.

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

tit for tat

Janet Jackson.
My favourite MTV Icon. Why? Why? Why?
The first cassette I've ever bought was her Rhythm Nation 1814.
Yes, I know this is like so yesterday. More than a week ago business but then there was nothing to be said that hasn't been said before.
Why the big fuss? I don't know, haven't the kids seen breast feeding? Geez!
So, she had a star nipple ring thing. That's just like a belly ring. Doesn't mean you have to pre-plan wearing a nipple ring cause you're going to expose it. Do people who have a belly ring only wear the ring when they're planning to expose it? I don't think so.
However, if it was a planned production, Janet! Why'd you stoop to that?! You're better than that!

Anyway, this is an interesting take on the whole fiasco -> Janet Jackson Breast Cupcake

Happy baking!

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

Standard Chartered does it again

I was told by Chee Yean of Standard Chartered's Customer Service center to call 03-7722 4986, the Credit Assist Department, with regards to what I want to do. I haven't even told her what I wanted to do yet. Just said it is with regards to the charges on my bill.
Thank you for calling Standard Chartered Bank Credit Center. Our office is now closed. Our operating hours are from 9am to 5.15pm for Mondays to Fridays and 9am to 1.15pm on Saturdays. Thank you.

Date of call: Feb 10, 2004
Day of call: Tuesday
Time of calls:
  1. 2.17pm

  2. 4.30pm

The other number she gave, 03-7728 4342 is consistently engaged.

Please explain?

  • Feb 11, 2.20pm - Called the number again. Office is still closed. Called the Call Center informing them of that. Competent lady asked if she could help. Listened to what I wanted and too down name, contact number and card number. Said she'll get someone to call me back.

  • Feb 11, 3.51pm - En. Hadi from collections called. Told/ranted him about what's going on. Told me to fax him all related documents and he'll see what he can do about it. Faxed him right after hanging up. Cool! Hope something gets done finally!

  • Feb 11, 4.55pm - En. Hadi said they've discussed and what they can do is waive all additional charges, just pay the disputed amount. WTF! Told him but that means I still have to pay. He said the rejection came from Card Center HQ, based on my docs there's not much he can do, advised to write letter stating case and reason why I'm so unwilling to pay and fax to him. Statement of Dispute was not the appropriate doc, should have submitted letter earlier. Told him doc was what the Call Center idiots told me to submit. Advice -> write a letter.

  • Feb 12, 3.15pm - Mail faxed to Standard Chartered c/o En. Hadi.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

My first Holga roll

Finally finished my first roll of film for my Holga.
A camera which I bought almost half a year ago, took ages for me to gather up the courage to go purchase the film because everything I've read about the 120mm film indicates that that film size is used by professionals. Therefore, kinda intimidating. Not to mention the pre-conceived notion of self looking like an idiot when asking for film and getting condescending stare from photo shop owners.
Taking the finished roll to the shop didn't take as long even though notion still in head about shop owner wondering what idiot took such crappy photos with pro films.
What's there to lose?
Film already used.
Can't possibly let it rot.

... can but the pull to see how crappy photos taken out weighed that inclination.

Shots came back. OK. Mostly crappy shots. Everything was in portrait?!?!
Didn't know it was going to be in that orientation. Thought all was coming out landscape.
Held the camera the right side up. Guess 120mm requires you to shoot the opposite way as regular cams.
Will try and scan and crop so that photos won't look as crappy.

Wait for it.

Friday, January 30, 2004

Legal Live Music Download

Was going though the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy yahoo group when I found a posting specifying live recordings of the BBVDs. Cool! And it being OKed by the BBVD management makes it even cooler. BBVD people are super cool cats. w00t!

Sadly, there aren't any BBVD live recordings on the site yet. However, there is a huge database of live recordings of many many other artiste and bands. I don't recognise most of the of course. Not sure if they're all signed and even if they were, they're probably obscure artiste/bands. Two that most of us might recognise would be Jason Mraz and Zwan.

Must remember to trot off to LPU's message board and pop in a message inquiring if LP might be interested in the project. If they are then I don't have to go sourcing for them over Kazaa.
Wonder if Evanescence and Moby might be interested as well. Will go pop more messages everywhere.

Monday, January 26, 2004

Misspelled words victim

Commonly misspelled words. 13/15! Can't believe I can't spell dumbbell (I comes with a double 'B'?!) and minuscule (Why does everyone pronounce it miniscule then?!). At least my spelling is not horrendous (sp?). I managed to score a 9/10 for the 'Could You Win The National Spelling Bee'. Wonder if the spelling bee participants would have more trouble with the common misspelled words or the ones from the latter quiz?

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

You're Madagascar!
Lots of people don't really know anything about you, making you buried treasure of the rarest kind.  You love nature, and could get lost in it whenever possible.  You're remote and exotic, and the few people who know you value whatever they share with you a great deal.  For some reason, you really like the word "lemur".
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

Monday, January 19, 2004

Quiz quiz

Congratulations! You're Aragorn!

Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Your soul is bound to the Yellow Rose: The

"I've travelled through the land of
surrender and seen it all. I throw my heart
out and keep my head up, and now I travel
through the land of peace."

The Yellow Rose is associated with friendship,
intuition, and fun. It is governed by the
goddess Hestia and its sign is The Intertwined
Rings, or True Friendship.

As a Yellow Rose, you always look out for your
friends. You would much rather have strong
ties with friends than a single tie with a
lover and your devotion to your friends is
clear. You may have great intuition and be
able to read emotions clearly, but sometimes
you can seem distant yourself.

What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm ... got the hero instead. would have liked Legolas ... ahhh ... yummy Legolas.

On another note, my freaking thighs are aching like mad! There's probably a reason that the audition call was for dancers 18-25 year olds. It's so that old farts like me who still have delusions of dancing on stage would be able to walk days after the audition.

The audition was mad! The speed at which we were to do our steps were so fast I felt like I was a cartoon. I was already tired out after the warm-ups, of which I couldn't hold my hand up in second position from beginning to the end. So my arm was slowly drooping and drooping and drooping. Using all those muscles that one has not used for over a decade is really really extremely taxing.

I will try walking at a nice and moderate pace today. My usual fast stride is so totally out of the question. If you see a girl walking like a grandma, that would probably be me. Just pass me from the side. I'm unlikely to go any faster.

Friday, January 16, 2004

Resolution #6

Before I begin with Resolution #6, I would like to point out that I am not exactly breaking Resolution #4 ... hmmm ... I just noticed something weird on my resolution list! Will amend that later.
How I rationalise my blogging at this hour, in the middle of the word day, is that I have completed what I am required to do.
My codes are all ready to be moved to the server.
And after some compiling and building and servlet engine restarts, the users will be able to use it without the bug that my company have always known about, although I do always have to remind them that it has always been a problem and should be fixed, but always denied that it would be a problem when moved to the production server. That's as indepth a techno babble as I can get. And that wasn't even really techno bable is it? Pretty comprehensive for the non-geeks eh?
However, to enable me to implement this change, I would have to do it after the regular people's work hours so as not to interupt the work process of our client. Also, to run some test to make sure that the application is running properly on the production server.

Hence, I am without work from now until ... whenever I feel like coming in again to implement that! Probably early tomorrow morning or Sunday?

Now, regarding Resolution #6.
I would like to begin with the varnishing/painting/staining process as soon as possible.
I don't necessarily have to find huge boxes to temporarily place all the junks that are on the shelves now although having them would be awfully nice. Less chances of toe-stubbings and much frustration of stepping on said junk. But since I don't see any boxes lying around at home, I'll just have to dump everything on the floor.
My concern regarding #6 is how do I paint the shelves properly ie. without visible paint overlapping. You know, the slightly darker layer you get when you paint a layer of paint above a layer of dried or almost dried paint?
I can't possible 'stand' all the connecting joints and the shelves on their smallest area to minimise the overlap cause that just not feasible as it wouldn't stand by their own.

Does anyone have any experience painting such things?
My set is build from Ikea's Ivar storage system.


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