Monday, May 31, 2004

the past week ... ok more than a week { just ranting }

What has happened? Well, nothing really but something almost did and that something might still happen if a certain someone did not have to take a month's long time off.

I have said time and again that if I ever lost this job, I wouldn't really care cause I don't like it anyway. It's not that I don't like coding anymore so much as I hate my PM's guts; which the whole office, I'm sure, knows about. Plainly put, I think he's an idiot, a childish I-think-he-only-got-this-job-cause-of-his-connections idiot. The type where you go to him with a problem (this happened when he was still new and we didn't know what an idiot he was!) and he arranged to meet with the GM to discuss about it without even trying to solve to problem or give advice as to how I might go about it. AND in which during the said meeting, he sat there stirring a glass of quakers like a kid. But I digress ... I don't want to talk about the idiot.

I want to talk about me being possibly either retrenched or sacked.

HR Manager called me into her office to tell me that there's a position open in one of our sister companies and the company has identified me for the position. The position is good. Profit making company with mucho bonuses anticipated, no raise or hike in salary though, just sort of an internal transfer. Catch is, it's way down south. In another state. A state with two or three states in between MY state and that state. Ergo, far away. They'd pay for relocation, reimburse for when you go down to search out a place to live and for the trip back, the moving van ... yadda yadda yadda.

When do I have to begin? As soon as I say yes and all the paper work's done, which means within a week or two.

How much time do I have to think about it? Three days. "Less if possible cause I'm going for an operation on Friday", said the HR Manager. Side note: News came in Monday evening.

She then went on to hint that the company's about to go on a downsizing exercise soon.

Hmmm ... dodgy. Was she hinting that I'm about to be downsized and that I should take the offer if I still want to have a job?

Did I have any questions? I was never very good at thinking on the spot. I couldn't think of any at that moment. Needless to say, I'd probably think of some while walking back to my building or when driving back home but while I was sitting there, I couldn't think of any except ... "It's finally happened. They want to get rid of me."

I'd always thought that I would welcome this. That when they ask me to me, I'd be happy about it cause they made the decision for me. I'd been wanting to leave the company for two years but have been a) too lazy to apply for new positions and b) I really hate interviews (which kinda contributes to the a factor!). But when it actually happened, it's sort of scary.

First of all, I didn't want to move to that backwater that they're offering me so, was already anticipating the sacking or rather the VSS (Voluntary Seperation Scheme) when the downsizing exercise actually happens. I'm a cosmo girl. I need the cosmopolitan city and lifestyle; although I'm hardly a fixture in the city, living near the city, you still interact with city folks anyway.

I am prepared to bum around for a few month. In fact, I am wishing that I might be able to bum around for awhile. Maybe do some mindless job like serving coffee at one of those trendy cafes or a temp staff for events or something. But what I really wanted to do was to get a Working Holiday Visa to the UK. Then I can do those mindless jobs while in the UK and at the same time, visit the country.

Told my parents about the offer and how I do not feel like taking up the offer which might mean that I'll be out of a job soon and asked if they minded that I don't work for awhile. They thought that it was fine and told me that I should probably start looking for a job now.

I didn't dare tell them about what I really wanted to do when I'm out of a job yet but I did eventually. As predicted, I received the infamous lecture on "money wasting". The WHV wouldn't really help in accumulating money, in fact it would be the opposite. Yes. I do realise that, what's your point, mom? Then the usual flow of "we're not a rich family", "your sisters are still studying", "we need your monthly contribution - which isn't really much anyway - since we're retired and your dad's freelance jobs doesn't really bring in much" {bah!}, "you should save up for your future" ... etc etc etc. Everything that I have heard about over and over and over ... and over again. Nothing out of the usual. It was when I said that it is something that I want to do, that I have wanted to do for a long time, something that I can still do while I'm young, while I'm still relatively free of responsibility, unattached; that the unexpected happened. I never expected the "you are just like your brother. Never thinking of the family. Just wanting to do what pleases yourself while the rest of the family struggles."

Oh man! That really got to me. If I really did not think about the family, I would have been long gone. It is because that I still care what they think of me that I'm still around. That I do care that they still think of me as a daughter. That I do care that my sister still gets an education that I'm still around. That they would not starve to death without my measly monthly contribution (which they won't) - that I'm still around. I know that they have a hard time with controlling my brother and younger sister who are quite rebellious and does things that they (my parent) don't think is good for them (my rebellious sibs). Which is why when there's something that I want to do and they don't really like it, I'd try not to do it. Nothing major just small stuff like buying unnecessary things or going on a small holiday.

So, for them or rather mom to say that me wanting to do the WHV is selfish of me is quite unfair. Oh yes, she also said that I shouldn't be to westernised to want to do these things. If I am too westernised, which I probably am but not overly so, I can't help it. I've been brought up with American TV and movies, in a modernised city (modern being high rises and buildings looking much like some city in a western country), western influence left, right and center. What was I suppose to do? Ignore it? And if I was suppose to, I was never told.

... { intermission }

You're an Etch-a-Sketch!! You're the creative,
artsy type who doesn't need to actually utilize
a single muscle group in order to have fun.
Doesn't matter though, you're still cool.

What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

comment system change

After some testing with Blogger's new comment system. I have decided to ditch it. It was just too much hassle just to post a comment up. You'd have to sort of login in order to have you post as an actual blogger member, which will allow your name to be associated with your profile link. People without a blogger account can still post but as anonymous. I'd have a lot of (more than 1 = a lot lah!) anonymous posters then!

I like knowing who've posted. Even if you use a pseudonym. I don't care. As long as there's a certain identifier which says you're a being in this blue green planet of ours. I also like it when said beings leave a link or an email address. So that I can discover new blogs, something which I'm to lazy to go in search of.

Therefore, I'm ditching Blogger's comment system and am now on haloscan. Why didn't I go back to yaccs? I don't know. I've been using it for so long and I am quite used to the interface but somehow, everytime I comment on someone else's blog and they use haloscan, I want one of those as well.

So I checked out haloscan. They have a nice management interface. The add-in codes are also cleaner and simpler. Also, I've noticed that the page seems to load a little faster with haloscan. No thorough testing yet. Maybe in a few days I'll decide haloscan sucks and might go back to yaccs? Or maybe that application to a free webhosting site will finally come through and I can move to that version of MT with unlimitted blogs and authors. Hmmm ... maybe I should go pester that webhost.

Monday, May 17, 2004

transfer or possible retrenchment

This just in.
I've been offered transfer to a sister company. Basically doing the same thing I suppose but can't be sure until I call the EDP Manager of that company regarding the job scope. Problem is ... the position's in Johor. More precisely in Pasir Gudang!

My HR manager tells me that this is a good opportunity for me seeing that I've been in the company for awhile now (4 years!) and besides that, the company's in the red at the moment and is considering downsizing soon. Think she's telling me that cause maybe I'm in the list to be downsized? I think so.

Not being paranoid or anything but I don't get along with my PM and everyone knows it. I don't try and conceal that fact at anytime. Have even told my GM about a possibility of transfer when I found out that it's quite impossible for me to work with my idiot PM but GM told me to just try. And I did. That was over a year and a half ago. So, I don't think my being in the list will be any surprise to anyone even myself. Kinda expect it too but would rather not BE in the list. Y'know?

Anyway, much as I like the opportunity to live outside the family in a place far far away, I don't think Pasir Gudang is what I had in mind. Was hoping for a more cosmopolitan area actually. So, anyone desperate for a personnel? I think I'm going to be out of work soon. I'll gladly mail you my CV. Just leave me your email or email me! Or just tell me if I should or shouldn't take the transfer!

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Error with new blogger features

I got a 553 Permission denied when I was trying to republish this blog after adding the new tags to enable Blogger's new comments feature. Man! What a failure that turned out to be. I wonder what I missed out? I've turned on the Post Pages like I was suppose to. I've turned on and placed in the new tags for comments. Pressed "Re-publish site" and voila! ERROR!

Monday, May 10, 2004

holiday and new blogger

Wow! Blogger's got a spanking new look. Not only that, it's got tons of features now as well. Comments. Individual post pages. Email-to-blog. Tres tres cool stuff. Will have to check out how to turn all those features on when I get home later tonight, or maybe tomorrow ... wait! have a meeting tomorrow. Weds then ... er, probable movie watching or gym going with the free session from F1st. Er ... Thurs after Merry Widow's rehearsal? Oh! Whatever ... hopefully sometime this week then!

Anyway, five days with no computer interaction was much fun. Went to Kuching, Sarawak over the long holiday. Quite an el cheapo holiday considering that we snapped up the cheap AA tickets months before and stayed at Jen's aunt's place most of the time save for the overnight at Bako. Although Jen made a whole itinerary of what we're to do when we're there, all plans were trashed when 'Grandma' needed to go home a day earlier and it was suddenly decided that we're no longer going to Jen's place in Sibu. I don't know why the Sibu plan was cancelled. It just was. Hmmm ... maybe I should have asked but then I was thinking "Whoa! That's a lot to do on a holiday!" when I saw her itinerary. One thing less to do is fine with me!

Highlight of the trip would be the boat ride to Bako National Park. All seven of us and the boatman in a motorised sampan heading towards open sea! I can now say that I've been to the South China Sea! The actual sea itself. Not flying over it. Not looking at it in a map. Not through a telescope from afar. I was actually on/in the sea. I touched the water. Felt the seabreeze. Saw a fish jump out of the water and back in.

Besides Bako, mostly we did lots and lots and lots of walking in town (of which by the evening I felt like chopping of my ankles cause they felt so sore and I couldn't possibly walk another step). Mostly in the same place. ... Ok. It's the Riverwalk. Seems to be the ONLY place in town. Tons of souvenir shops there so it was almost like my London experience of going in and out of shops. They have so many cool stuff. Mostly decorative items which made me think "awww ... that's so nice. Too bad I don't have a house to decorate it with." I did ask to go back to the shops on the last day though, quite out of character of me, to go get some placement mats that I thought would make a great gift. They're really nice. Quite plain but nice.

Went to the Cultural Village which costed a bomb at RM45! Quite enjoyable trip that was though I still think that was quite exhorbitant for entry. We got to see some long houses - Iban, Ulu er ... I forget. Will have to refer to my cultural village 'passport' to check what long houses I've seen. The whole village could do with more orang aslis and signage everywhere. Not enough to give any real information about anything except what long house you're in.

Also went to the museum with intention to find out why the heck the Sultan of Brunei gave the whole big land of Sarawak to some gwai lo and only kept little Brunei to himself. Sadly, that exhibit is in storage. The museum's under new management and erm ... I don't know the reason why they want to keep the exhibit. :P


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