as predicted, i failed my java exam.
yes. failed.
big fat 'F'!

hmmm ... wonder if the company will pay for a resit. if yes. i'd probably do it when i have time to actually study!

this is the first time i have ever felt so totally unprepared for an exam. there have times when i felt unprepared but this time was way way way unprepared. i had 3 days to finish 13 chapters. didn't even manage a first reading of all the chapters much less understand them. this is so bad. so bad. i feel so bad.

i have never ever ever failed a programming subject! this is an absolute first. i am so pissed!

Wow! I just read the feedback about the Seven Deadly Sins performance. So cool!

I heard a rumour that the next installment of Survivor, I think that would be Survivor 6, is currently being filmed at Pulau Pangkor. Seems that a friends aunt who is a nurse at a local private hospital treated Richard Hatch, the winner of the first Survivor, recently. It is said that Mr Hatch who was participating in S6 had been voted out by the tribal council and was seeking treatment at the hospital.

Which made me think.

How did he get to play the game again?
He's played it before and in fact won a million bucks at that.
Why is he allowed to play it again?
Isn't there a rule barring previous players from playing again?

Which also made me wonder if the rumour is indeed true.

So, has anyone heard anything about Survivor and Pangkor Island?
Can someone heading that direction check if this is true?
I don't really want to know. Just a little curious.

The organisers seem to like Malaysia quite a bit if the rumour's true. First Pulau Tiga. Now Pangkor.

[ something from the email network ] WARNING

We have just been notified by Security that there have been 6
suspected terrorists working out of your office. Five of the six
have been apprehended.

Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, Bin Goofin, Bin Lunchin and Bin Drinkin
have been taken into custody.

Security advises that they could find no one fitting the description
of the sixth cell member, Bin Workin, at your office.

Security is confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin
will be very easy to spot.

If you are reading this you are obviously not a suspect at this time.

well, now. has anyone missed me?

anyways, i guess it's about time that i blogged something about the show on sunday.
the show went well.
no mishaps ... maybe one teeny tiny one on your's truly but no biggie. still able to walk and run although jumping on the right foot might cause some minor discomfort.
we danced to a packed house.
we moved to an appreciative audience of mostly friends and family; kinda like a school recital :). but it was all good.
close to the end of the last piece, i forgot my steps (horrors!).
not too much only about 3 counts of the piece. luckily i manage to remember the rest and manage to continue instead of standing there in front of everyone looking confused while the rest of them were dancing.

so, the show was good.

i didn't realise what a toll the past few weeks have been. i guess you don't really realise exactly how tired/exhausted you are when you have to be somewhere doing something at some particular time and place.

on monday, i was tired but i made my way back to choir practise and the usual supper at kavari's after that. couldn't keep my eyes open long enough and made my way home before 11.30pm. we usually leave about midnight so that's pretty early.

then on tuesday, i was zombie-fied. went to work feeling all sickly, with a slight thobbing head and aching bones. urgh! i seriously wanted to go home. but didn't.

yesterday, i got lazy and applied for emergency leave. stayed in bed till 12pm. studied half a chapter for the upcoming exam and watch flatliners on astro. *sigh* rest at last.

[ now ] at work but still doing the recuperating thing. i have a feeling that i'm not one who can recuperate really quick. need several days more of doing nothings for complete recovery. but alas, several days of nothings is something really difficult to come by. *sigh*

back to work everyone!

This is pretty cool. Try it out and tell me how much you like your room.

My room's in the guestbook if you are interested.

at work now. rushing for presentation on monday. progress of project ... BAD!
gonna get royally screwed by the client's general manager when they see the uncompleted application on monday.

*sigh*

only have 2 hours to work on this thing.
performance at bangsar for the matinee show and the at night, seven deadly sins. then i'm done with the seven deadly sins practices.

more time for project. need time for studies!

hurrah! i got approved for an f2o.org account. it's gonna be at http://callista.f2o.org. it's got php and mysql database so i get to play around with stuff.

now all i need is time.

i was in a bad mood yesterday.
i didn't feel like going for the tech rehearsal ... but i did.
didn't feel like flocking ... but i did.
what i didn't do was puttin effort into what i was suppose to be doing and acting all happy and all that for the curtain call run through.

i was moody moody moody.

and i'm still kinda moody.
i'm thinking of all the things i need to complete, that would like it to complete, before the clients come in to look at the system on monday.
i know that there isn't a chance in hell that i'm going to see those things completed if i didn't work overtime from now until then.
but i have performance today, tomorrow, saturday and whole day sunday. so, i can't even work overtime.

*SIGH*

i'm spending too much time worrying about that (work). time that should better be spent working on it. time that i'm currently using to blog than to work.

ok. i'm going back to work.

[BUG/VIRUS ALERT] Linux/Slapper, new worm for Apache Web servers on Linux

Madrid, September 17, 2002 -- Today's Oxygen3 24h-365d report will look at a
recently discovered malicious code called "Linux/Slapper". This is a
potentially dangerous worm for Apache Web servers installed on Linux
operating systems.

Linux/Slapper spreads by exploiting a known buffer overflow vulnerability in
the OpenSSL component of Apache Web servers installed on the following Linux
distributions: Mandrake, SuSe, Slackware, RedHat and Debian.

This new worm searches for vulnerable computers over the Internet. Once
Linux/Slapper has infected a computer, it opens a backdoor in it through
port UDP 2002, which could lead to DoS (Denial of Service) attacks. The worm
then looks for new computers to infect, connecting to them through the httpd
server (port 80) and searching for Apache servers. On finding one, the worm
connects to port 443 (SSL) of the computer, in order to send itself to it.

Linux/Slapper creates two files -"BUGTRAQ.C" and "UUBUGTRAQ"- in the "\tmp:"
directory in the infected computer. The first file, which contains the
worm's infection code, is sent to remote systems and compiled locally using
gcc, creating the executable file "BUGTRAQ".

More details about the OpenSSL vulnerability in Apache Web servers and the
corresponding fix are available in the security advisory published by the
Computer Emergency Response Team Coordination Center (CERT/CC) at:
http://www.cert.org/advisories/CA-2002-27.html

*sigh*
marina, marina, why can't you just finish the part i asked you to do instead of moving on to something which i didn't ask you to do?
why are you doing that thing which i haven't asked you to do anyway?
how do you know to do those things?
it wasn't in my plan.
why are you doing it?
just finish the thing i asked!
it was suppose to have been completed last tuesday!

ARGHHHHH!!!!

what can i say? i was a bitch to my parents yesterday. papa asked for help with yahoo's email and saving attachments for mummy. i got really frustrated and it was evident in my voice cause i was talking as is reprimanding him for not being able show mom himself. dad's been using yahoo for the past few years. he's been saving attachments from his emails for the past few years. i cannot understand how he still hasn't grasped the concept of creating a fresh folder for mom and save it for her.

mummy said i was being an ingrate for acting the way i did. i agree. they've paid for my education. i should help them out when they ask me about thing like that but it's just so frustrating that papa can't seem to be able to use his laptop for merely placing files where ever whatever program he's using tells him to place it (ie. the default directory opened when you click 'save'). i have explained it to him again and again but he still can't seem to understand/remember(?)

and of course, mummy had to come up with a totally unrelated argument to compare capabilities when i asked papa why he wasn't able to solve the attachment saving thing for mummy. her argument was "well, you can't sew can you?"

"no! but i haven't been sewing for the past few years now have i?" I replied.

then i stood there and waited and guided her through her email retrieval and reading and deleting and finally logout. stood there cause i didn't want to climb up another flight of stairs yet again (it was the 3rd time!) just to be called in a few seconds to solve yet another 'problem' that might arise.

finally, i went back to watching the episode of sex and the city which i had on pause when the cry for help came.

friday the 13th

the day went pretty eventless.
same old frustration with the incapable programmer. frustration with my own program. being stood up once again by the client who was due in for a progress meeting.
the last one was a good thing cause there wasn't much progress going on. viewable progress anyway. some functional things were completed but nothing with an interface which the clients can go wow about. clients are all about interfaces. who cares about the functions. you show them a page and they go wow. tell them a function you've completed and they go *blank*. they are all about aesthetics.

anyway, the day was pretty eventless ... until

my windscreen cracked. then it kept cracking. and craking. more and more.
i was on my way to the 'seven deadly sins' practise when it happened. thankfully a guy in the motorbike (which i suspect was the same motorbike that passed me when the first crack happened) helped me knock out the glass so that I could the car home. nice guy.

but i didn't drive home. i went to practise instead; despite having called michael to say that i wasn't going earlier. i thought, since i have to go by that way to get home anyway, i might as well make a stop before heading home. practise was good except i still can't get my steps for one of the piece and also what michael said. He said, "... you're a beautiful dancer." then he paused. i can just hear the BUT coming soon. i don't remember his exact words but it goes something along the lines that he feels like i have something unresolved with movements. well, i know i don't have the step down pat, as yet but i know that wasn't what he meant.
he and the rest of the dancers in the group are those people who feel that there is something more to the dance/movement than just the dance. i am not. i just like it. if you've seen billy elliot, it's kinda like that. unexplainable. just simply 'electric'.
nothing deeper.
no fancy pansy explanations.
just the simple feeling of 'like'.

i like it. period.

ice-cream and pancake

i had ice-cream with pancake for breakfast today. yup. you heard me right. ice-cream with pancake not pancake with ice-cream. the pancake accompanies the ice-cream which is the main focus of the meal.
the pancake did start off as the focus of breakfast.
i was gonna just take it and eat it on the go. that was until mom asked the question which changed everything ...
"Would you like ice-cream with that?"

the ice-cream was brought out and quickly took center stage.
it made me even later for work that i already was. but it was all worth it.
ice-cream for breakfast.
mmmm ... yum.

Haven't been doing much but attending dance practise after dance practise after work so nothing interesting to talk about. Stayed up late for the past two nights watching the Sex and the City VCDs that I'd bought. I'm just completed the second season and hopefully will watch the third season when I get home later. Going to watch '3 soprano's + 1' later tonight ... complimentary tickets, courtesy of the organisers for the committees of the Sel Phil. :)

Anyway, here's a write up of the dance that I'm doing for Actor's Studio. If anyone of you are interested, do come and support and also, you'll be able to see this blogger live in the flesh and then you can tell me how badly I suck in the dance.

Michael Xavier Voon featuring Fresh Dancers
in
"SEVEN DEADLY SINS"

22 Sept only, 8:30 pm, The Actors Studio Box
MyDance Alliance and The Actors Studio present Michael Xavier Voon & Ensemble in "Seven Deadly Sins (according to Gandhi)". Be prepared to welcome all raw dancers with a sin-tillating and insightful look into the 7 Deadly Sins according to Gandhi. Featuring new and never-before-seen works of Michael on brave new movers, this should be a must-see on your 'never-2-b-missed' date. This is Michael's first full dance repertory in 6 years. The theme will play with traits Ghandi feel are most spiritually perilous versus beneficial to humanity : * Wealth without Work * Pleasure without Conscience * Science without Humanity* Knowledge without Character * Politics without Principle * Worship without Sacrifice * Commerce without Morality..........

-----------------------------

The idea for the theme came about from a class assignment Michael gave to his digital design students in college. Through the years, the topic of the 7 Cardinal Sins evolved to include the 7 Contrary Virtues (contrary to the Deadly Sins), Seven Heavenly Virtues, Seven Corporal Works of Mercy and lastly, the 7 Deadly Sins according to Gandhi:
* Wealth without Work
* Pleasure without Conscience
* Science without Humanity
* Knowledge without Character
* Politics without Principle
* Worship without Sacrifice
* Commerce without Morality

Working with Seven Deadly Sins at Actors Studio Box allows 7 pieces of dances to revolve around both positive and negative issues; thus, 14 possibilities in all. While some of the topics may be dark in nature, most of the other pieces are very much on the lighter side - with some 'tongue-in-cheek' and naughty humour thrown in.

Among the genres of styles reflected in the dance works include from ethnic to contemporary, from modern to jazz, and from soft rock to improvisation. Amongst the music artists used are Cliff Richard (pop ballad), William Ackerman (new age), John Cage (modern), Asiabeat (ethnic jazz fusion), The Proclaimers (pop rock), Tony O'Connor (world music), Handel (classical) and Kate Bush (pop cult),

The show will introduce mostly raw performers to give them an opportunity to dance. All featured dancers are fresh talents whose contributions come from their pure passion for movement. Michael also hopes to present varied dance forms that audiences can be re-exposed to - emphasising on simplicity of structure and audience accessibility.

Along with the performance, a few talented CENFAD students will display their digital art versions of the Seven Sins or Seven Virtues on the foyer.

Performers:
Anitha Abdul Hamid, Cal lista Chuah (me!), Joan Chan, Dennis Leong, Margaret Wong, Nicole Ann Thomas, Steffi Lund, Sueann Tilaka, Sara Thong, Melissa Wong & Michael Xavier Voon.

[ Note to self ] Never go to the loo between 11am to 11.15am. The cleaners are at work at your floor then. If you want to go, you'd have to go down a floor ... capish?

pop star wedding

Weird dream last night. I dreamt that an ex-classmate of mine was marrying Justin Timberlake of N' Sync. Thing is, this ex-classmate, I haven't seen her since we left high school. That's not true, I've seen her once and said hi but she totally dissed me. Anyway, in the dream, it was her wedding day, somehow or rather, I was invited. She came to me and said she needed to just hang out with a friend for a moment. I'm thinking where the heck are the rest of her friends?

So, we just sat for awhile.

Then as I was walking towards a gate, I saw the rest of the N' Sync members with their dates. They were dressed in jeans and cowboy hats, kinda like in one of their videos, I don't remember which. "Odd way to dress for a wedding", I thought to myself. As we came closer, I waved at JC - something that I probably would never ever do to a stranger, except if they were kids in a car looking out the window.

To my surprise, he game over (sans date), hugged me, greeted me as if we were friends (called me by my name and all) and flirted a little. I played along although a still little surprised. Then his date came over and he introduced us. She looked at me spitefully(?) as if I'm trying to steal her date or something.

Then as JC started leaving to join the rest of the band, she lagged behind and said "I know all about you." Me - a little confused. "I've seen you a around and at Nouvo." said she. All this in a you-stay-away-from-my-man-you-man-stealing-bitch tone. Me, in total shock yelled back, "But I don't party!" She left me standing there feeling really confused. Maybe they had mistaken me for someone else. But that why would that person have my name? Do I have a Jeckle and Hyde split personality?

I was awaken at the point by my mom's call.

What a weird, weird dream. Why would I be dreaming of an ex-classmate who dissed me and whom I haven't seen in an age? Why N' Sync?! Don't mind the JC part but the rest left me with a big fat "HUH?"

[ BUG/VIRUS ALERT ] Multiple vulnerabilities for the Cisco VPN 3000 series concentrators

Madrid, September 4, 2002 -- Cisco has reported -at http://www.cisco.com/warp/public/707/vpn3k-multiple-vuln-pub.shtml - the existence of 13 security problems in Cisco VPN 3000 series concentrators(*).

The vulnerabilities are diverse and some could allow unauthorized access to the network, password disclosure, or be exploited to initiate a denial of service attack. The roblems affect various functionalities of the Cisco VPN 3000 concentrators and do not affect all versions. The Cisco VPN 3000 series concentrators affected by these vulnerabilities includes models 3005, 3015, 3030, 3060, 3080 and the Cisco VPN 3002 Hardware Client.

Full details on these vulnerabilities, the products affected and the patches available can be consulted in Cisco's security advisory at: http://www.cisco.com/warp/public/707/vpn3k-multiple-vuln-pub.shtml

(*) The Cisco VPN 3000 series concentrators are a family of purpose-built, remote access Virtual Private Network (VPN) platforms for data encryption and authentication.

- Bug/Virus alert was taken from Panda Software's mailing list

Tired. Oh so tired. I can feel a slight headache rearing it's ugly head even as I write and it's bound to escalate should I remain awake ... which I have to cause I have choir and dance practise later. Since they overlap, I'd have to decide which I'm going for soon. The census right now is to head for the dance practise cause the performance is in less than 3 weeks and I have yet to imprint the steps into memory. Plus, there's one more dance that I still have to learn.

Yesterday's photo shoot for the performance was a disaster - at least for our group. Not sure if the photographer got anything which may pass off as a dance piece from our group. I'm quite sure MXV wasn't at all prepared for the way the photographers wanted to take the pictures. In fact, the whole group didn't expect that it would be taken that way - with everyone doing their piece and the photographers clicking away on their digital cameras, all of us thought we've just pose and they click . Which is another thing that surprised me. Looks like even professional photographers are using digital now. Bye bye films, hello memory cards.

Right. So I think I'm decided. I'll go for dance practise. Which means I'll have to leave now cause practise is in 50 minutes and the federal highway is never predictable and I might need all of those 50 minutes to get there. Ciao miao.