Sunday, February 03, 2002

to apply or not to apply, that is the question...

for the past few days, the idea of applying for a PR to australia has, yet again, reared it's ugly head. it has always been at the back of my mind ever since the day i touched done back on my home soil.

the dream of going back to melbourne. ahhh ... what a dream.

of a life of independence. of the unpredictable yet lovely, at least to me, weather. of a life far away from my family and all the headaches of life in a family.

my friends have different opinions on whether i should or shouldn't go for it. one's all for the idea as she has regretted her decision or rather lack of options that disabled her from applying. another's all for it cause he's never been there but have met the people and it sounds like a great place to live (i agree! ... however, i might be biased). others were more reflective?, as in i should think carefully about the reasons i would want to live in australia. one opined that maybe i should do a little more travelling before deciding on australia as a destination.

hmmm ... a valid point that. however, travelling required money and time. two things that i do not have much in abundance at this moment. why no time? you might ask. the answer is simple, really. it is said that the chances of having the australian PR application approved is higher for those below 25 years of age. and as you know, yours truly will be that age at the end of this year. therefore, i have only about 10 more months left to decide.

so, why am i considering of applying?

i think, i need to get away from the security of my family. i think, i would like to experience again the feeling of being independant like in 1998. although that wasn't truly independant as money was still coming from my family and i did not really have to worry about it. i think, the weather was good for my skin as i had less acne while i was there. i think, it's my fascination with 'white people'.

i think. i think. i think.

i'm not entirely sure.

it's just that i remembered that i loved being there. i loved paying my own bills. cooking my own food. the walk to the laundromat to drop off the clothes and the walk to get the clothes back. wearing a sweater to keep off the cold air from direct contact with your skin. the nice walk to the park to sit on the swing or the walk to the pool thirty minutes away or to chadstone for a movie without breaking a sweat. the musicals that are shown in the city ... ah, the musicals, my love, my life.

maybe it's just the novelty of being away from home for the first time. you know? no restrictions from parents. no worrying about what others in the family is going through and having to adjust according to what they are feeling at the moment ... which can turn out to be quite taxing. no lectures from parents regarding one thing or the other. no watchfull eyes telling us we're doing this or that wrongly. nobody stopping me from trying out something even though it might prove disasterous.

i don't know. should i? or shouldn't i?

how do i decide?

is the need to feel independant reason enough to want to move to a new country?

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