Thursday, October 04, 2001

Ack!!! I just read about this in Racheal's blog! Now I have to retype my blog!

Like I wrote previously, ...

My company's having a community service event. With health checks, eye test, hearing test and blood donation. All this held in the wish to bid for some industry award. Not a very good reason to have such and event, in my humble opinion. In an ideal world, such events would be held with the intention of helping and giving services to the community with no ulterior motives whatsoever but hey! ... this is not an ideal world.

Ouch! Just applied too much pressure on my middle finger where they pricked it for the cholesterol and glucose test. The result indicated that I'm perfectly healthy. Cholesterol level 4.5 - norm is anything below 5. Glucose level 5.2 - norm: 3.6 to 6.3. Blood pressure 111/99mmHg - Normal. Pulse rate 65/min - Normal. Weight of 50kg, height of 1.54m which results in a BMT right smack in the middle of the ideal weight! I am soooo NORMAL!

Anyway, I was 'volunteered' to take care of some old folks from a nearby old folks home. Read again, I was volunteered. I didn't volunteer! I don't normally volunteer for this sort of things. Back in school, if you want to paint a mural, I'd volunteer. If you want some certificates written in caligraphy, I'd volunteer (I was quite good at this, I've even written a few for myself. Kinda weird writing a cert for myself.). Need some crap/stuff for a fund-raising auction, I'd do it. But never ever have I ever had the urge to volunteer something that helps human kind. I'm such a horrible person aren't I? I don't know. Just don't feel like I'm the kind of person to do these sort of things. Some people just love helping other. I am simply not included in that SOME. According to my mom's belief in Karma, what goes around, comes around. So if that holds true, with me not helping my fellow human kind, no one would help me when I do need the help. Hopefully there'll be some kind soul around when I do need help ... but wait! there shouldn't be any kind soul around cause I've not been a kind soul to others. Hmmm ... should I just do good hoping for a repayment of good in time of need? but that's not exactly sincere isn't it? There's the ulterior motive of getting repayment. So, is doing good with an ulterior motive just as doing good just cause you DO do good? I'm sure the receiver will appreciate it but what about ME? Will I feel good knowing I've done something like that for a reason?

My parents would probably say that the way the world works. I once had a 'chat' with them, very rare occurrence this, about JC (my company's Regional Director) who loves playing squash and using my connections with my sister, a national squash player, to maybe gain favor through acquaintance. Y'know like how a lot of underlings starts playing golf just cause their bosses does? I said that if I do get a promotion or anything cause the of that, it's not very RIGHT. Do you think that right? They said, 'Don't be so naive. That's the way it works.' What sort of values does that teach me? Sucking up to the bosses is a good thing? Shouldn't I EARN my promotions through hard work and work results? Whatever happened to all those classes on morals that they taught us in schools? Values that don't apply in the real world? Were they just telling us that these things exist but oops! sorry, if you follow them, you'll never succeed. Maybe that's why the world's so f**ked up!

Okay, take a deep breath Empress, breathe. Will stop for a moment. Need to cool down a bit. I hate these sort of stuff.

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